


Between the Tides

by blasphemous



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec just wants to piss his parents off, Alternate Universe - Human, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Biphobia, Childhood Friends to Strangers to Enemies (kinda) to Dubious Friends to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Racism, We'll get there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-08-11 00:22:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16465127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blasphemous/pseuds/blasphemous
Summary: Alec just wanted to try the ring on.





	1. I

“Ah, so let me get this right,” Magnus leant forward, fingers interlaced atop the table separating himself and the man sitting across from him, “we haven't seen each other in..what? Seven years? and-”

“Eight” Alec cut in gratuitously. He was met with a glacial glare that had him bowing his head with a cough to clear his throat. “Sorry” he muttered. 

“ _Eight_ years, and the last time we _did_ see each other, we parted on substandard terms that don't exactly deem you qualified to interrupt my business trip, come to _my_ table and ask me to pretend we're dating, yet _here you are_ ” Magnus waved a hand in Alec's direction and fell back against his chair with a tilted head and an arched brow. “Interesting.”

Alec let the silence stretch on for a moment or two, trying to put on a guilty face as he played with the corner of his book cover. “Listen, Magnus” he eventually let out, refusing to look Magnus in the eye and see the utter disdain held there, specially for him. “I'm not like my parents, okay?”

Magnus' brow rose to join the other in sheer amusement, a small smile that didn't even pacify Alec a wee bit tugging at the corner of his glossed lips. “Oh really now?” he wondered aloud, the mockery in his tone making Alec poke the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “As far as I recall, the saying waaas...” Magnus trailed off with a pensive squint of his eye, faking thought. “What was it again? Refresh my memory, sweetheart.”

“The apple doesn't fall far from the tree” Alec provided, fairly unamused by Magnus' flair for the dramatics.

Magnus tutted his tongue, disagreeing, and sat back up to prop his elbow on the table and wave his forefinger in imaginary circles, lips puckered reflectively like Alec didn't know he already had the quote in mind but was just waiting for the right time to say it. He's got flippancy down to a fine art and he took such great pleasure in it; it made Alec's blood boil hotly beneath his skin. 

“Ah, yes!” Magnus snapped his fingers and pointed at Alec, having found the right adage, “two wrongs don't make a right.”

Alec's deadpan expression had Magnus rolling his eyes. “Wasn't me being bisexual the reason we fell out?” The sudden question made Alec choke on his gulp, the water spurting out of his nose and onto the table mat in front of him. He abruptly grabbed a napkin and started dabbing it on the patch of water. 

Magnus didn't do much to help, signalling for a waiter with a flourish of his hand. “Yes, dear, I'd like a caesar salad, less chicken and extra cheese.”

The waiter nodded his head and walked away, leaving Alec to his choked inhalations and Magnus to his smug smirk. “It's not about your parents, Alexander” Magnus said placidly. “It's about you. I don't want to be on the same table as you, let alone date you for how long?”

“A month minus a week” Alec finally let out, patting his napkin against his lips. “Look, it's not like that, Magnus. I-”

“So you're telling me you're not asking me to fake date you so you can impress your parents?” Magnus interrupted and Alec couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him, ridiculing and so so vexing that Magnus had to bunch his hand in the leather of his trousers to hold back from snapping out something too vulgar for a place as fancy as the _Convivium Osteria._

“Magnus. I want you to agree to this so I can _piss my parents off_ ” Alec averred, then melted into another chuckle, biting at his knuckle to avoid letting his half-subdued laugh sprout into something louder and more attention-seizing. 

Now Alec had lost Magnus. 

When Alec finally collected the scraps of his cool, he gave his surroundings a casual look to assure he hadn't drawn too much notice to their table, then looked back at Magnus, who seemed too busy picking out the soggy pieces of bread out of his salad. “Jace, my brother, wanted to propose to his girlfriend and thought it would be a good idea to tell me first. He showed me the ring, I tried it on-”

“Why did you-” Magnus cut himself off with an exasperated sigh and shook his head, “never mind, I don't even wanna know.”

“And it got stuck” Alec continued, voice suddenly timid as he eyed the big blue sapphire on his ring finger, scowling at how prettily it contrasted with his skin, “mom walked in and thought I was showing Jace my engagement ring-”

And once again he's broken off by Magnus choking on whatever part of his salad he had decided to bite on. Magnus — quite ungracefully for his usual fluency — patted around for a glass of water. 

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“So your fiancé?” Magnus nodded, forging enthusiasm. Having lost appetite, he pushed his salad away, leaning back against his chair with his eyes fixed on Alec. “And _what,_ exactly, am _I_ getting out of this?”

Alec opened his mouth to give an answer, then shut it with his cheeks full of air. He repeated the process several times before Magnus began to gather his things. 

“Where are you going?” Alec asked in a jiffy of panic.

“Well, honestly? I have better things to do than sit here and watch you puff your cheeks like a fish” Magnus replied, bringing himself to a stand and slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Good luck finding someone who can tolerate you though” he gave Alec a small smile and tucked his chair in.

“So..you're not gonna help me out?” Alec further questioned.

“I was trying to spare your blushes but if you're so insistent on a straight to the point answer..” Magnus leant down till his face was inches away from Alec's, “no.”

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

**Unknown:** what if I paid you?

Magnus stared at the message, dumbfounded by Alec's relentlessness. 

**Bane:** how did you get my number?

 **Unknown:** I paid izzy with an artefact. is that a yes?

 **Bane:** using money to get what you want? the lightwood in you is going strong, Alec.

 **Bane:** do you really think that paying me like I'm some sort of cheap garçon de joie will get me to agree?

 **Unknown:** I'm sorry. that wasn't my intention.

Magnus let his thumbs hover over the keyboard, moving in teetering circles before he shook his head and rolled his eyes.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec puckered his lips to himself, drumming his fingernails on the mantelpiece as he eyed the dimmed screen of his phone. He didn't know what he was expecting, especially after he had not only taken Magnus' number without his consent, but also unintentionally humbled him to someone he could hire. 

The buzzing of his phone against the marble of the mantlepiece drew Alec out of his thoughts and the moment he saw the caller ID, he stood upright. _Bane._

Now Alec was a talker when needed, he was also quite concise with his wording, clear and straight to the point. But that was _work,_ not his scarcely-existent personal life. One thing Alec figured out after the dreadful events at the restaurant two days prior was that talking to Magnus was much more difficult than texting him. It had little to do with their mild dislike towards each other and much more to do with Magnus' sassy retorts that slap Alec right in the face halfway through his sentences.

He stared at the screen, the four letters glaring up at him before fading for only a few seconds, only to light up again. A part of Alec wanted Magnus to cancel the call and they can just forget about it all. Alas, Alec knew Magnus long enough to know he was quite stubborn and if he had words at the tip of his tongue, he won't rest until they're out, alloyed with a dash of sarcasm and a sprinkle of contempt that leaves the second party speechless and red, it be with anger or embarrassment. Magnus enjoyed both.

With a long inhalation to retain his equanimity, he slid his thumb over the screen. He pressed his lips together and brought his phone to his ear. “Alec Lightwood speaking” the words slipped out automatically and Alec found himself tightening his grip around his phone, mentally scolding himself.

“Skip the formalities, Alec” Magnus replied fluently. It sparked paltry envy in Alec to hear how composed and _professional_ Magnus could be if he wanted to. “How much?”

“Excuse me?” Alec questioned, confused. “How much what?”

The silence following his question was tense as Alec sucked his lower lip into his mouth, counting the beats of his heart in his mind. He pulled the phone away from his ear to see if Magnus had hung up, then pressed it back to his ear. “You there?”

“For faking it, Alec.” Although it was a vocal conversation, Alec could _hear_ Magnus' annoyed eye roll. “Unless you were only trying to raise my hackles with your texts?” 

Alec lifted his empty hand to his neck and rubbed there, a nervous tic of his that often got him into tirades after tirades from his mother whenever they were in an important social event with high-class familiars of Robert's company. “No” he was surprised by his own breathlessness. “No, I wasn't.”

“So?” Magnus asked, “how much?”

“Depends on how good you are at acting” Alec's eyes widened at his own teasing reply, then he frowned approvingly to himself. 

“Oh?” Magnus murmured, “well, acting requires a good partner, so how good of an actor are _you_ , Mr. Lightwood?” If Alec didn't know better, he'd think Magnus was flirting with him. But he _did_ know better, thankfully, and knew Magnus was just beating around the bush until Alec caves in and puts a price tag on his theatricals.

“How about this,” Alec started, “tomorrow the whole family's coming together for an early thanksgiving dinner because-”

“Spare me the niceties, Alec” Magnus droned, cutting Alec's intro off.

“Could you come tomorrow?” Alec cut to the point. “The family will be there and maybe after that we'll talk payment? That's if you're willing, of course.” It was easier talking to Magnus now as Alec ambled his way to the fridge and pulled the fridge open to get himself a string cheese. 

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“Alright” Magnus' tone held finality as he reached his destination. He pulled his free hand out of his pocket to ring the doorbell and turned his back to the door. “Text me the details. Goodbye.” 

“Bye.”

The door behind him creaked open and Magnus twirled on the heels of his boots. He heard the happy cry that came from behind the door before it was being flung open with the enthusiasm he loved and missed much more than words could express. 

Then he was pulled into an abrupt, one-sided hug that squeezed a breathy laugh out of his lungs. He wrapped his arms around the feeble body enveloping his, shoulders sagging with a warmth he hadn't felt in years. With a watery smile, he buried his face in the bony shoulder of his mother, tears warping his sight as he finally let himself breathe. He could feel more than hear the happy snivels coming from her and soothed them by running his hands through her greying hair. “I'm home, mama” he husked, eyes falling shut.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec was used to his childhood home looking like a five-star restaurant. He was used to seeing dressy close and distant relatives gathering together to drink expensive wine and turn into walking magazines. What he _wasn't_ used to however, was the myriad of _congratulations!_ he was getting every minute, followed by a fake, not-so-subtly-homophobic smile, and topped with a critical glare coming from his father, who stood with one of Alec's uncles who he couldn't bother to know the name of. 

“So, is mystery fiancé coming or what?”

Alec refused to look at his sister as he hummed to himself. “He said he'll be here” he answered tersely, not wanting to talk too much because he just _knew_ Isabelle will catch him in a lie he himself forgot and find him out. Deep down, he knew she was suspicious but he appreciated that she wasn't pressuring him too much. As a deviation from the sudden quietness, Alec lifted his wrist to look at his watch. 

“You know Jace told me, right?”

Alec hated how easily the muttered _that little fuck_ left his lips, because honestly, _it was Jace._ He could never keep his mouth shut and always enjoyed swearing to secrecy only to tell others and add 'but don't tell them I told you' at the end of said secret. “I'm going to kill him” he was smiling as he stated his yet to be committed crime. “God, I'm going to-”

“Come on, Alec” Izzy pushed her shoulder into Alec's with a laugh, “we both know I would've found out sooner or later. And don't worry, your secret's safe with me.”

Alec finally turned to look at her, expecting to see a mischievous gleam in her eyes. But he was only met with a sympathetic smile as she tilted her head to the side. “Who did you ask?” she queried. 

Alec smirked, looking back ahead with a dreamy sigh. “Someone” he sang under his breath, attempting (and failing) to hold back his cheekiness, “someone very special to mother and father dearest” his eyes were skimming over the tens of people in search of the aforementioned person. He was nervous. Scratch that, he was terrified. Truth is, he was doing it all out of spite. Because of the way his father had reacted to his coming out, because his mother was very tight-lipped about it. Maryse never verbally said anything to Alec about his orientation, but the way she treated his siblings compared to her behaviour towards him was enough indication that she wasn't okay with it. 

Both parents came to terms with it, though. Maryse tried to set Alec up with several rich, prestigious men who exuded the letters B - O - R - I - N - G. Eventually Alec gathered up the courage to tell her to cut it off, and cut it off she did. 

But when she walked in on Alec trying to pull off the ring with panic clear on his face, she assumedly thought he was scared he'd be yelled at for having someone in his life who loved him enough to put a ring on him. Little did she know that the ring was meant for Clary, Jace's girlfriend. 

“Alec, you _didn't_ ” Isabelle's incredulous voice broke Alec's train of thought and he shook his head to regain focus and looked up.

The fear inside him melted to something less severe, _nervous butterflies and a sudden urge to down seven bottles of whiskey._

Magnus walked with grace, Alec noted, a sort of grace that had countless eyes turning on him as his searched for his sham fiancé. He wore a velvet, maroon tuxedo that hugged him in all the right places, making him look sinful and ceremonial all the same. Alec took a deep breath and for once since the evening started, drank. He downed the glass of red wine and blindly pressed it into Isabelle's hand before he straightened his back and swept his way in Magnus' direction, trying to keep his irritation in check. 

Upon reaching him, Magnus smiled, tilting his head up to brush his lips against Alec's cheek. “You told me it was just family” he whispered, voice soft but no less severe. 

“It is just family” Alec replied quietly, resting a hand on Magnus' side. 

“Well, you didn't tell me your family breeds so.. prolifically” Magnus mumbled, words not aimed at anyone in particular. He then pulled away with a grin. “So, where are my future parents in law?” He clapped his hands excitedly before rubbing them together with a barely-subdued desire to brew drama.

Alec glanced over Magnus' shoulder, right at Robert who was storming his way towards the twain of them. 

“Here we go” he whispered to himself, unsure to whether this was a good idea to start off with.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: homophobia.

To say that Robert was furious would be the trivialisation of the century. He was frothing at the mouth, pacing back and forth to the point where Alec was beginning to feel dizzy. He stopped for a moment, turning to look at his son and future son-in-law, only for a brief moment before crossing his office space once, twice, incessantly running a hand over his hairless head. 

Finally, he stopped to glare at his son. “Him?” he demanded, glare sharp. “Of all the men in the world, _he’s_ the one you chose? This…” he turned to Magnus, who was sat behind Robert’s desk, looking over the souvenirs adorning the glossy surface of the bureau. “Man” he spat the word like it were a blasphemy.

Magnus lifted a golden statuette of The Discobolus of Myron, tilting his head at it with a mix of interest and distaste. 

“What does it matter who I choose?” Alec argued, voice reaching Robert’s level. “I love him and that’s all that matters! You have no say-”

“Your mother has tried again and again to set you up with others of your taste” Robert hissed. 

Magnus slumped back against the leather seat, turning on its wheels while scrutinising his nail varnish. 

Scoffing, Alec glanced away with a grimace. “Of my taste” he reiterated, shaking his head. He didn’t dignify his father with a continuation though, turning to his mother who had just stepped through the door. 

“What’s going on here? Your voices can be heard from the living room downstairs” she said, stepping forward. Magnus sighed, placing his hands on the armrests of the chair to bring himself to a stand. 

Robert overlooked her question, glare unwavering. “You brought him to embarrass us, didn’t you?” 

Alec looked back at his father. “No, I brought him here because it’s a _family dinner_ and my fiancé is a part of the family. I suggest you deal with it” he retorted, voice so very calm. If it weren’t for the redness blotching his cheekbones, his anger wouldn’t be noticeable at all. 

“A part of the family” Robert echoed, sardonic. “You _hated_ each other not long ago. I’m your father, Alec, and I demand you get rid of this man and stick to your own social status. There are countless men who-”

“If I may,” it was the first time Magnus had spoken since Robert had ordered them to his office. They all turned to him, Maryse’s hand leaving the knob as she moved closer until she was standing not far from her future son-in-law. Magnus’ eyes travelled to Alec, a silent question hanging between them. _Limits?_

 _‘Drive him up the wall,’_ lingered at the tip of Alec’s tongue, _‘hurt him as much as he’s hurt me._

However, he only gave a small nod, eyes squeezing shut in permission. Magnus took it as a spur, dark eyes perching on Robert. “You see, sir,” the kindness in his voice almost had Alec himself fooled, “or shall I call you dad? Now that we’re one big happy family?” he lifted his shoulders with a charming smile.

The cold glare he was met with was a solid _no._ So Magnus shrugged and went on. “It’s true. Alec and I hated each other,” he sighed, “that was, however, _before_ we came to realise there’s a threadlike line between hatred and... _sexual tension._ ”

Alec choked on an inhalation of air, bringing his fist up to his mouth to compose himself. 

“But it’s all… resolved now” Magnus grinned. 

Robert opened his mouth to speak, but Maryse stepped in before the first hating syllable could spill from his lips. “It’s lovely to have you Magnus” she said, striding towards him with a smile. 

Magnus’ brows shot up in surprise when she held her hand out to greet him.

Alec felt a small twitch at the side of his lips upon seeing his father’s countenance turn red with fury. He also knew his mother was only trying to ease the suspense heavy in the room. Maryse didn’t like Magnus. In fact, she was the one who drove him and Alec apart, but at least she had some decency to be kind to him, despite the flex of her jaw and the dukes she had bunched her hands into. 

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“Your parents are almost as exhausting as you” Magnus exhaled once he was standing on the balcony. 

Alec didn’t say anything, simply leaning forward against the ledge to look at the garden the villa overlooked. 

“I’m sorry about...” he eventually said, trailing off with a wave over his shoulder. “They’re always like that.”

Magnus snickered, demolishing whatever guilt Alec felt after his father’s lack of civility towards the man standing beside him. “Oh, you don’t have to do all that” Magnus said airily, “be yourself!” 

Alec arched a brow, turning to Magnus with an elbow propped on the ledge. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, no trace of kindness left. 

In all honesty, the least Alec was aiming for was shared respect. Formality, if Magnus pleased. He didn’t want Magnus to turn it into some sort of sick game to exact revenge for what happened nearly a decade earlier. 

“Oh, you know,” Magnus murmured, not sparing Alec a glance as he smiled ahead. “You’re a Lightwood. There’s no need to hide your holier-than-thou mannerisms around me. Consider it a job” he finally turned to look at Alec, a complacent smirk evident on his lips. 

And Alec? Alec was stupefied by the coldness in those dark eyes. He spent the past five minutes shifting from side to side because Magnus kept avoiding his eyes, but now that Magnus _was_ looking at him, a bitterness Alec could liken to hatred, to disgust, shining in his unrelenting gaze, Alec couldn’t help but look away, a muscle in his jaw tautening as he straightened his back to dampen the sudden unguardedness burning in his gut. He hoped his posture would fool Magnus, whose eyes were still settled on him, like he was anticipating any indication he managed to get under Alec’s skin. 

“I’d also like it if you treated this as if it were a job” Alec said. He mentally applauded himself for keeping his voice in check. “That means more vexing my father and less of this bullshit you’re pulling right now. I’m paying you.”

Magnus grinned – feral and toothy – just as his line of view caught a few of Alec’s relatives watching them like a flock of hawks, awaiting any sign to jump to conclusions and spread canards regarding Magnus and Alec’s love life among the family. 

So, Magnus did what he was getting paid for doing. He moved closer with a seductive sway that had Alec standing upright, confused. Magnus took the chance and stood in front of his _fiancé,_ leaning the small of his back against the ledge of the balcony. He peered over Alec’s shoulder as he twirled the Lightwood’s tie around his fingers and tugged him forward.

Alec caught up easily, falling into step with Magnus’ plan. He bent his head, lips hovering over Magnus’ as he steadied himself with his hands on the ledge, at either side of Magnus’ hips.

Magnus’ eyes didn’t leave Alec’s, so Alec took it upon himself to break the severity of his death glare, irises dropping to Magnus’ lips. 

“Don’t even _think_ about it” Magnus said, words a whisper grazing across the Lightwood’s lips. So Alec tilted his head and brushed a brief kiss against Magnus’ cheek.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

The feast was nothing short of disastrous. Magnus was never the fussy type. He sure did enjoy grumbling just to pester the people around him, especially when they’re his close friends. 

But he really, really hated the people he was dining with. To the point where even Alec’s closed-mouth chewing was starting to vex him. The guests have all fallen into harmonious talk, laughing and trading funny stories that Magnus wished he could laugh at. But he couldn’t, even if he tried. The extended Lightwood family had a humour as non-existent as Magnus’ tolerance. 

“Magnus!” Magnus was drawn out of his thoughts by the loud exclamation coming from the far end of the table. He looked up, eyes resting on the blond man who had just called out his name. “Since you and Alec have caused quite the sensation, why don’t you tell us how you proposed?”

Alec coughed into his wine glass, his drink spilling from the lip of it before he placed it back in front of him. “I don’t think that’s a proper subject of discussion” he said, bringing a handkerchief to dab at his lips. “We wouldn’t want to bore you” the statement was emphasised with a glare aimed at his brother, who smiled broadly in return.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, brother, you know I’m a romantic at heart” Jace’s voice was laden with sickly sweet mockery that clearly said _should’ve thought it over before bringing your fiancé over for dinner, wearing my girlfriend’s ring._

The guests fell silent, cumulatively turning to Magnus and Alec, who were both looking daggers at the blond Lightwood. 

“Alec’s right,” Robert stated, “we’re eating. This isn’t a suitable topic.”

Isabelle opened her mouth to scold her father, the rest of the family mumbling between themselves and each other. But Magnus beat her to it. “Actually, the idea of marriage didn’t cross my mind until I saw the ring sitting there in the jewellery storefront. It was so, extremely _Alec._ Sapphire, as some of you may know, symbolises wisdom, faithfulness, sincerity. A few of the many things Alexander possesses.”

Isabelle’s eyes were on Alec, who was looking at Magnus with an impressed smile that can be interpreted as loving. Alec’s jaw was clenched as Magnus went on, unaware of the countless gazes on them, equal measures of doting and envy in the way they were watching Magnus speak.

“I kept it in my pocket for half a year before I gathered up the courage to finally ask him to marry me,” Magnus turned to Alec and reached for his hand, lifting it to press his mouth against his knuckles. “He cried like a baby.”

Alec scoffed, pulling his hand away with an eye roll. “You’re saying that like you didn’t snot all over my shirt.” 

Robert stood from his chair, its legs scraping hard across the floorboards and streeling everyone’s attention to him. “I’ve lost my appetite” he threw his handkerchief onto the table unceremoniously. 

Alec smiled, tuning out the mild hurt burning behind his eyelids.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

The last guest left the house after a prolonged goodbye by the door and an awkward silence ousted all the fake cordiality there was only a minute before from the room. 

“Well,” Alec cleared his throat, evading the way his father was looking at him. “I think Magnus and I should get going” he rested a hand on the small of Magnus’ back, a tight, timid smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

Maryse ran her hands down from her hips to her thighs, giving the impression she was straightening her dress. Alec knew her though, he knew the gesture was a hint that her nerves were acting up. 

“It was nice seeing you again, Magnus” she said to Magnus, “I believe Alec told you about the family holiday–” 

“Ah, yes, about that, I wouldn’t want to intrude” Magnus shook his head almost eagerly. The last thing he wanted was spending days on end away from his mother and in the company of the man he once considered his best friend.

“I agree” Robert said in time with Maryse’s offended “nonsense!” 

Maryse then turned to fix her husband with a frown. Robert shrugged. “It’s a family vacation” he justified lamely.

“One that Simon and Clary will be present at” Maryse continued. She didn’t wait for Robert’s immature retaliation, turning back to her son and Magnus. “We’d be more than delighted to have you,” her voice said otherwise though.

Magnus nodded, leaning against Alec just to see the look on Robert’s face. “Everyone knows I wouldn’t say no to spending more time with my fiancé” he turned his head to look at Alec, who was already looking back at him.

Alec smirked. “Hey now, we don’t want you getting bored of me before we even tie the knot, Mr. Bane” he teased. 

Robert walked away, leaving them to Maryse standing at the doorway. 

“I should probably..” Maryse’s sentence tailed away as she pointed a thumb over her shoulder, in the direction of the room Robert had just disappeared into. She took a few steps away from them, then faltered and turned back around. She opened her mouth, as if to say something, then pressed her lips together and walked away.

Almost instantly, Magnus and Alec drew apart, Magnus already approaching the door with steps as swift as an arrow, like just existing in the vicinity of Alec made him lesser.

Once they were in the driveway, Magnus pulled his phone out.

“Who are you calling?” Alec didn’t realise how demanding his question was until it was out, in spite of his benign intentions.

Magnus didn’t look up from his phone. “That, my dear, is none of your concern” he murmured absently, thumbs moving speedily over the keyboard of his phone. 

“Oookay..” Alec droned. Magnus wondered how a four-lettered word could be fraught with so much satire. _Only Alec._

After a few moments of silence, Magnus pocketed his phone and looked up at Alec.

“I’ve had today’s dose of immaturity, homophobia and stalkish glares” he said airily, smile joyous despite the bitterness of his words. “I’ll be on my way now.” 

Alec nodded. 

“We can talk about the terms of our agreement once you’ve, uh, macerated everything that’s happened today?”

Magnus tilted a brow at Alec’s failed attempt at humour, but decided he was too tired to comment. So he nodded once and buried his hands in the pockets of the pea coat he wore over his tux.

“Have a safe drive.” He didn’t loiter long enough to hear Alec’s response, trudging away with intentional ignorance of the sudden nostalgia kindling inside him. 

_What has he gotten himself into?_


	3. III

_1- no mouth-to-mouth contact._  
_2- nothing more than mouth-to-mouth contact_.  
_3- attending events **must** conform to both participants' schedules_.  
_4- no dating._  
_5- outings are only obligatory when necessary (i.e. family gatherings)._  
_6- no pet names unless absolutely, drastically needed._  
_7- if the pet names are absolutely and drastically needed, you_ _ **must not** use any of the following endearments:_  
• baby  
• babe  
• sweet cheeks  
• sweet pea  
• love muffin  
• sugar  
• baby cakes  
• baby boy  
• sexy (do not state the obvious)  
• pudding (by now you must know that naming food does not make me feel desired, Alexander).  
_8- hugs are allowed_.  
_9- I shall demand extra if I am faced with any cruel or embarrassing situations. The amount of money charged will be decided in accordance to how humiliating your relatives can get_.  
_10- last but not least, you are to treat Chairman Meow with utmost respect. Even supposing you do not get along, you will dignify him with a glance and a mild greeting._

_side note: rules can be added at any time._

__

Alec's gaze skimmed over the letters with apparent lack of amusement as he swung the fountain pen between his middle and forefinger distractedly. Magnus' varnished nails drummed rhythmically against the table, beautifully-rimmed eyes travelling between his neatly put-together list of rules and Alec's peeved expression, awaiting any reaction other than irritation. “So?” He prompted. 

__

Alec finally lifted his head, blinking a few times to keep himself levelheaded. “So” he exhaled heavily, thumping back against his chair. “These are...hm..” His brows jumped up briefly, lips pulled into a tight line.

__

“Hard to carry out? Anti-Lightwood? Is it the kissing part or are you just prejudiced against cats?” 

__

Alec rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched with a barely-subdued smile. “No” he answered, “these are actually..” He trailed off, brows pinched in confusion. “Pretty simple. I expected, I don't know..”

__

Magnus grinned. “So it's settled then?” He asked, already straightening up to gather his things.

__

“I'm in” Alec responded instantly. “Um, does _family vacation_ fall under the obligatory category..?” 

__

Magnus stopped in his tracks and looked up, jaw slack. “Tell me you didn't agree to that ridiculous trip your bigoted parents planned out?” 

__

Alec pressed his lips together, attempting guilt. The sham façade had Magnus rolling his eyes.

__

“You don't have to,” Alec hurried to say, not wanting Magnus to feel uncomfortable about it. “I could apologise on your— on behalf of both of us.” 

__

Magnus lifted a hand, shaking his head. “No” he said curtly. “No need. Text me the details, will you?” Alec barely had the chance to voice his agreement before Magnus was fleeing out the door of the café, slinging the strap of his bag on a shoulder. 

__

“OK” Alec mumbled to himself, slumping back in his seat and waving a lazy hand for the bill.

__

**⋆⋆⋆**

__

Alec had just finished zipping his suitcase — a small black one with no more than four jumpers, two pairs of jeans, two joggers and a towel. he trusted Izzy would take care of the shower supplies — when three knocks sounded outside his door. 

__

He knuckled at his eyes, stifling a yawn as he glanced towards the clock. _12:32 am._ “Come in” he drawled, dragging the suitcase off his bed and to the floor. It landed with a low thump that was too loud for his tired senses. 

__

The door creaked open and Izzy peeked in, face bare of makeup and hair lifted into a messy bun. “Well, well” she grinned, “look who's here.” 

__

Alec smiled to himself, slumping down onto his bed. “Yeah, stop with the teasing” he waved a hand, but his eyes skimmed over the interior of the room he hadn't been to in years. He took in the marks on the walls, marks of the posters he had hung during his adolescence, took in his cheap guitar from when he, Magnus and Izzy had wanted to start a band. Indie music was the genre they had decided to produce. A wry smile tugged his lips upwards as he turned back to his sister, whose own eyes were following the direction he was looking in. 

__

“Remember?” She chuckled, slipping into the room and shutting the door behind her quietly. She moved stealthily, like the part-time dancer she had trained to be, as she approached her brother. “I remember when Jace first arrived and asked if he can join our ‘band’..” She emphasised on the last word with air-quotes and rolling eyes. 

__

Alec laughed. “He was pitiful, with his drumsticks” he bumped his shoulder into hers, eyes crinkling at the sides with the memory. Their laughter faded, only the sound of the passing cars outside the house filling the silence impending between them. 

__

“Alec?”

__

Alec shut his eyes, as if he knew, from the tone of her voice, how serious their conversation is becoming. 

__

“Why him?” 

__

“Ask mom and dad, they're the ones who adopted–”

__

Izzy tutted her tongue and Alec found no use in finishing off that poor attempt at a joke, at a _detour._ “I'm not talking about Jace. I'm talking about Magnus.” 

__

The name made Alec wince, misery and exhaustion weighting on him all at once. “Iz, I—” he cut himself off, lips parted around an unthought response. He closed his mouth. 

__

“Is it really about pissing them off?” Izzy's hand rested on Alec's, and whether it was the repression of everything he felt or the comfort and safety his sister's touch offered that made tears sting hotly behind his eyelids, Alec didn't know. All he knew was that he was _tired_. Tired of the hate, tired of the constant feud between his father, a man he loved and cared for despite their heaping problems with each other, and who he himself was. Who he loves. He was tired of the lack of love and acceptance in his family, the love and acceptance that was a given between members of any other family. 

__

He hadn't noticed he had rested his head against Izzy's shoulder, body bent in an awkward but comforting position, not until Izzy's lips pressed to his head, hard and reassuring. “They love you” she whispered, arm wrapping around him. “We all love you.”

__

**⋆⋆⋆**

__

Whatever melancholy Alec was feeling the night before left him before the first rays of sunshine shone through his window the next day. When he staggered down the stairs, body still stiff with a much needed sleep, he was greeted with the sight of Magnus, sitting beside Max with the latter's laptop in front of them. Everyone was dressed, causing a bedlam in the entire house as they moved past each other, and despite how loud and head-aching the tumult was, Alec could clearly hear Max's ‘WOW DUDE’ aimed at whatever Magnus had done on the laptop. 

__

He ambled over to the two, standing behind the couch where they were seated and leaning down to examine what was going on. Magnus paused the game almost instantly, chuckling at fifteen year old Max's beyond amazed words at Magnus' gaming skills. “Morning” Alec rasped, voice scraping past his throat and making him clear it pointedly. “Morning” he repeated. 

__

“Heard you the first time” Max waved him off with clear disinterest. “Just say you want a morning kiss from your fiancé and go.”

__

A laugh rumbled in Magnus' chest and it didn't take Alec much to realise it was genuine. Magnus liked Max. 

__

The memory of fourteen and fifteen year old them babysitting Max when he was nothing but a little kid drew a smile across Alec's face, subtle but _there._

__

“I may love your brother, but morning breath can stand in the way of even _our_ love” he glanced at Alec with a fleet wink. “Alexander!” He exclaimed once he took in Alec's attire, “we're leaving in fifteen, go and get dressed.”

__

Alec looked down at his clothes, a murmured agreement leaving his mouth. “Yeah” he mumbled tersely 

__

Maryse, Robert, Luke, Jocelyn and Elaine let the kids enjoy their own ride to the airport, deciding to split the ride in two.

__

Simon spoke a lot. And even with that, Alec couldn't really deny that he liked his sister's new boyfriend. He was chattery, very optimistic and filled with random facts. He understood why he and Clary had been inseparable friends. Simon wasn't the problematic sort. 

__

Alec wasn't fond of Clary at first. Was wary of her for some unknown reason. But during the past two or so years, she'd grown on him and an amity blossomed, one that was based on greetings, goodbyes, a few formal questions and two texts back and forth on holidays. 

__

Simon looked in the rear view mirror at Alec and Magnus, brows shooting up. “Trouble in paradise?” He asked out loud, drawing everyone's attention to the two of them. Alec had to suppress a groan. He'd let the act slip. 

__

With a nervous smile, he moved his single-ringed hand to Magnus' but Magnus slapped it away and Alec felt momentary panic rise in him. “Yes” Magnus called out, “he forgot our anniversary.”

__

Now Alec was downright shocked, turning his head to gape at his sham fiancé. Magnus smirked, no doubt pleased to have got a reaction out of stiff, stoic Alec. 

__

“I see how it is” Alec mumbled under his breath, turning to look at Simon through the mirror. “Have I told you about the time Magnus pranked me by trying to break up with me on my birthday?”

__

Izzy gasped, too theatrical for Alec's taste, and placed a dramatic hand over her chest. 

__

“That's a whole new level of cruel, man” Simon chuckled, shaking his head. “I wanna hear the whole story.”

__

Alec adjusted his position, ignoring Magnus' pinch to the leg. “So” the Lightwood cleared his throat, “it was my twenty-forth birthday and I was super busy at work and all. But I did take time out of my working hours to send him texts, because I'm _that_ sweet.”

__

Jace rolled his eyes, throwing his head back and bumping it against his seat. “As sweet as Turkish coffee” he muttered, making Clary nudge him with a mirthful laugh. 

__

“It was raining when I left work and when we met up in the café, he seemed all too..” Alec glanced at Magnus, heeding the arched brow and unamused expression, “serious. He told me he needed to talk to me about something then proceeded with the cliché lines like—”

__

“It's not you, it's me!” everyone besides the two yelled out synchronously and Alec chuckled to himself. “Yes, that” he waved a hand, “then, when he saw that I was starting to understand, he laughed and the whole café sang me happy birthday.”

__

“You dramatised that way more than necessary, darling” Magnus commented through the laughter. “It rarely rains on the twelfth of September.”

__

The booming laughter of the van drained Alec's hitching breath as his eyes remained on Magnus. It took the latter a few seconds to realise his slip, that he had somehow, after years of no contact, still remembered Alec's birthday. He didn't look back at Alec, instead turning to stare out the window with a feathering muscle in his jaw and a heartbeat too loud.

__

**⋆⋆⋆**

__

“Business” Robert had said, in time with Magnus' “economy.”

__

The look he received from his _father-in-law_ was charged with nothing short of disgust, eyes roving over Magnus' outfit like he expected nothing less. 

__

“A down-and-out” he spoke under his breath, only barely within Magnus' senses. Alec opened his mouth to say something.

__

Magnus' laugh was soft as he bowed his head. “I know how difficult it is for you to sit with the paupers of the economy class, sir, but I can handle a good, give or take, six hours without fiddling with silverware and downing five glasses of Château Lafite in a row” his voice was airy, playful even as he patted Robert on the arm. “But you do you.”

__

Simon sputtered a laugh, then covered his mouth and responded to Alec's sharp glare with a guilty scowl of his own. The silent extended for a little until the woman behind the desk cleared her throat and repeated the options.

__

**⋆⋆⋆**

__

“How's Mrs. Bane?” It was the only conversation-starter Alec could think of. He didn't dare look at Magnus, eyes glued to a book he had borrowed from Simon out of boredom. Steampunk wasn't his usual genre but the book would've been interesting had he actually stayed focussed instead of finding his concentration transitioning to the presence beside him every now and again. 

__

“Alive and well” Magnus answered. 

__

Alec smiled slightly. “I remember the martabak she used to make” he paused, toes curling in his shoes at the small talk he had started. “Is she– does she live in New York?”

__

“Why do you care?” Magnus snapped. It was all Alec needed to keep his mouth shut, standing up and placing the book in his place. He left for the bathrooms, splashed water on his face and leant his weight on the sink.

__

Magnus was listening to music when Alec came back, and to be frank, Alec didn't want to sit next to him for the next few hours to Iceland. He grabbed his book and walked up to Max. “Can we switch?” He asked quietly. Max didn't question him, all too enthusiastic to oblige. 

__

So Alec sat next to Luke, giving him a kind smile as he removed the bookmark from the novel and reopened it. He didn't not like Luke, but he didn't know him enough to like him and to be honest, Alec didn't feel like talking to anyone anytime soon in fear of snapping at the wrong people.

__

“How long?” Luke questioned half an hour later. 

__

Alec's jaw flickered. “What?” He asked absently.

__

“You and Magnus?” From his peripheral vision, Alec saw Luke nod his chin in the direction of said man. “How long?”

__

“Oh” Alec gathered whatever effort he had left to smile in a way he hoped looked dreamy and fond. “Around three years.”

__

Luke nodded understandingly. “Really now?” The suspicion in his voice made Alec still, shoulders squaring. “And why are you here and he's all the way over there?”

__

Alec wished he had Magnus' swift lying abilities. He shrugged. “Uh, we were scared we won't be able to, uh, keep our hands off each other.”

__

Luke laughed, and something about it made Alec smile. It was friendly and kind to the point of being fatherly. It made Alec swallow around the lump in his throat. “Let's try again, kid,” Luke began, “how long has this fake relationship thing been going on?” 

__

Alec choked on his breath, eyes wide as he stared. “Fake— that's not what it is” his defensiveness surfaced, making Luke incline his head in a _you can do much better than that_ manner.

__

Alec refused to relent under that teasingly satirising gaze, turning back to that stupid book at hand. 

__

And ‘your secret's safe with me’ was the last thing he heard from Luke for the next few hours.

__

**⋆⋆⋆**

__

Reykjavik was, simply put, the most beautiful place Alec had ever seen. And that's saying a lot considering the many, _many_ family holidays he had been on. Being the end of December meant it was fully cloaked in white, the bone-freezing air narrowing Alec's thoughts down to one thing. _Warmth._ He just wanted to get to a hotel and revel in the under-the-duvet snugness. 

__

Izzy linked her arm with his and when he gave her a questioning look, she looked down at her thigh-high heels. Alec laughed. “Seriously, Iz?”

__

“Yup” she mumbled, resting her temple against his arm. “You okay?” 

__

“What? Yeah” Alec's response was immediate, like an auto-reply as he looked at Magnus. Max was showing him something on his phone, happy to have someone to geek out with. “I think Luke knows.”

__

“He's safe” Izzy assured, “are _you_ okay?” 

__

Alec rolled his eyes at her caring-mother attitude, and her ability to read him so easily, and crossed his leg behind the other to kick her lightly. She gasped and squeezed a benign pinch into his arm before replacing her head against him. “He's so hot.”

__

Alec groaned. “I don't want to hear you fawning over your boyfriend” he bewailed, with no actual annoyance behind his words. Simon wasn't his type, but he'd pass as hot.

__

“I'm talking about _your_ boyfriend” she cackled, lifting her own boot-clad leg to nudge behind his knee with its heel. 

__

“That's even worse!” Alec exclaimed, shaking his head at her silliness as he spotted his mother, walking beside Jocelyn. It took him a few moments to realise her cheeks were damp but the moment it dawned on him, he disentangled Isabelle from him, ushering her towards Clary and Jace. “I'll be right back” he said.

__

“Asshole, you were serving as my own fleshy heater!” Izzy shouted out. 

__

Maryse wiped at her eyes when she saw her eldest approaching and when he slowed down till he was just walking next to her and Clary's mum, he cleared his throat. He didn't really think about what he was going to say, especially considering the tenseness between them every time they were together. He just wanted to make sure she was okay, so he tried. “Are you okay?” 

__

Maryse sniffed, looking at him with a smile. “I'm okay. The cold's making my eyes watery” a lie. “I'm happy Magnus could come” another lie “and that I get to spend some time with you” another.

__

Alec nodded once, nails of his hand digging into the opposite one. Then he slowed his steps down and let her walk ahead.

__


	4. IV

Alec lingered at the ensuite's door, toothbrush in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other. It was well past midnight and he could already feel the day's events heavy on his shoulders, aching for rest. 

“Sorry I couldn't get us separate rooms” he didn't realised how tired he sounded until the words were out, and even after, he couldn't find it in himself to even play spry. “I would've but they'd get suspicious and—” he cut himself short and abruptly turned around when Magnus began undoing his shirt. It looked prudish, he was sure.

Instead of staying there, back to Magnus, to continue his halfhearted elaboration as to why they had to share a room for the next week, he ambled his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

He spent a considerably long time in the bathroom, mostly in hopes of retreating to the room when Magnus was halfway to sleep, too lethargic to spew sass at him. He himself was too tired to even shelve everything that had happened today, from his father's brutal commentary on Magnus, to Luke finding out without so much as a glance at them, to the way Maryse had looked at him when he asked her what was wrong— like she didn't _want to_ be in his mere company. His jaw clenched tightly, almost to the point of chipped molars, knuckles paling as he tightened his grip further on the sink. 

With a deep, composing breath, he straightened his back and looked in the mirror with his head held high, fortifying whatever emotional and mental strength he had left in him. Then he left the bathroom and walked around the room stealthily, making sure everything was in place. He arranged the many pillows that came with a five star hotel room into a makeshift bed on the floor at the foot of the bed and lay down there, surprised by how comfortable it was compared to what he had in mind. 

It didn't take him long to fall asleep that night.

**⋆⋆⋆**

Alec awoke to a rough nudge to his side, followed by a pretty aggressive ‘psssst’ that drew a loud groan from his throat. He rolled onto his side with a dismissive flourish of his hand. 

“Alexander!” This time, the name was punctuated with a jab of Magnus' toe into Alec's rib that made him wince and roll over onto his back, hand lifting to shield his face from the offending light coming from the windows. 

“What?” His morning grumpiness bled into his words as he sat up, back muscles grinding with pain. Spoilt brats. 

Magnus didn't even wait for Alec to stand up, pulling the pillows from under him to throw them onto the bed. “Get your ass in bed, right now!”

Alec cracked an eye open. 

“Your parents won't be pleased when they walk in on you sleeping on the floor and I on the bed,” he paused, “or would they? After all, they'd love the idea of us being in a fake relationship and them not having to put up with a scandalous, debonair vagrant who doesn't have the words _tedious and rich_ inscribed on his head in Times New Roman.”

Alec couldn't find it in him to rein back the laugh spuming in his throat and it left him in a huff as he looked up at Magnus. The surprise on Magnus' face was momentary before he schooled his features to neutrality. “Get up here or I get down there and force you to find an explanation as to why we're sleeping on the floor when we have a cali king bed right fucking there.” 

Alec was up between one blink and the next. 

And it turned out Magnus' timing was just right, as the moment he slid into bed next to him, Izzy and Clary gave two synchronous knocks on the door before it without explicit permission. 

Magnus only had the time to wrap Alec's arm around him, his back pressed to Alec's chest, before Izzy let out a ‘wakey wakey rise and shine, lovebirds!’ 

Alec knew Magnus could feel the beat of his heart against his back, rapid and arrhythmic. But he didn't make a move to change their position, pressing his face into the back of Magnus' head with a faux groan of annoyance instead. 

Magnus opened an eye, smile askew. “Looking lovely, my sweet Isabelle.”

The way Alec tightened his arm tenuously around him didn't go unnoticed by his sister or the redhead standing beside her silently, taking in their dishevelled position with a barely hidden look of admiration. “Oh, don't get jealous, brother dearest” she rolled her eyes, “Magnus loves you too much to cuckold you with your own sister.”

The glare Alec aimed at her had her stepping back, hands lifted with all the innocence her smirk didn't hold. “We're having breakfast so be ready in ten” she said, then ushered Clary out and followed after her. 

Alec removed his arm, fingertips brushing Magnus' bare skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. _It's just the cold,_ Alec told himself, even as he counted every rib his fingers grazed. Even as Magnus let out a heavy breath through his lips.

“Get dressed” he said blandly.

**⋆⋆⋆**

Getting dressed to have breakfast with the family reminded Alec of the apprehension he used to experience before his tests, the _fear to fail the unknown_ sort of nervousness. Except he was more than positive he was going to fuck this up. 

He dismissed the comfort of his casual everyday outfits and opted for a black suit. He did without the tie and overlaid his outfit with a peacoat thick enough to keep him warm.

Deeming himself appropriate for his parents' company, he reached to pick up the sapphire ring from the dressing table, stopping a second before his fingers brushed the cool silver of its band. His eyes travelled to the his ring finger, his jaw ticking at its emptiness. His gaze darted up when he heard a harrumph from behind him. “Ready?” Magnus asked. 

Alec took a breath and slid the ring on. “Yeah” he exhaled, voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah, let's do this.”

 

When they reached the hotel restaurant, Alec pulled a chair out for Magnus, and in return got a fake smile that made his stomach churn. He murmured a _good morning_ and sat down with Izzy to his left, Maryse across from her, and Magnus to his right, Max smiling widely at his gaming partner from the opposite side of the table. 

“Good morning” Maryse responded instantly, albeit tightly, then cleared her throat with a formal smile. Alec regarded her with a look of appreciation before letting his eyes rest on his father. “Good morning, dad.”

A hum of acknowledgment rumbled out of Robert, his own eyes not leaving the newspaper he had in hand. Alec gave a single nod, hand squeezing gently on Izzy's when she offered her silent sympathies. “So” Magnus called out to interrupt the awkward silence that had fallen, “what are we doing today?”

“Izzy and I were thinking ice skating?” Clary answered, pushing the basket of bread across the table towards Alec, her eyes not leaving Magnus. “Can you skate?” she asked, not wanting to keep her answer short. Magnus didn't mind the poor attempt at a conversation, smiling back. 

“Of course I can” he said dramatically, placing a hand over his chest in fake offence. “It's all about the balance, dearie. Isn't it, Isabelle?” He questioned, “Alexander here told me you've been taking dancing lessons?” his tone didn't suggest a question. 

Izzy grinned toothily. “Yep. Zumba,” she pushed her shoulder into Alec's, “I tried persuading Alec to attend a lesson and he was..averse, to say the least.” Her small story made everyone laugh, Maryse settling on a small smile as she looked between Isabelle and Alec. 

The joy was short lived, as Robert decided to peek behind the newspaper to look at Max. “How's school?”

Max's laughter died down when he realised that his father was speaking to him. He sat straighter, tucking a strand of his nape length hair behind his ear. “Uh.. good I guess” he smiled timidly at the attention solely fixed to him. “I aced math. And physics. Actually, I got—”

“And politics?” Robert interrupted, closing the paper in his hand and folding it, as if readying himself for an interrogation. 

Max huffed, glancing away. His cheeks had gained a pink flush, whether it was due to his failing political studies (Alec would know, since he caught his little brother attempting to hack into the online grades), or the cumulative curiosity aimed at him, Alec didn't know. 

“Who cares about politics? Max wants to be a VG programmer” Jace suddenly said. Max turned to glare at his older brother with gritted teeth and a hissed ‘he doesn't know!’ that would easily pass as a stage whisper. Isabelle sighed from beside Alec, and Magnus occupied himself with his food.

Robert's brows rose. “A what?”

Max swallowed and turned his head back to his father. “I'm much better at sciences, dad” he said carefully. “And you know how much I love computers and—”

“And what?” Robert roared. A few people from nearby tables turned to look at them.

Luke sighed loud enough to draw attention. “Robert, he's fifteen, you can't expect him to have his whole future planned ahead” he said. Maryse nodded in agreement, smiling at that. And when Alec came to think of it, it was the first time she had given a genuine smile since they left the house over twenty four hours ago. 

“Computer engineering is a great field, dad” Alec tried, “Underhill, a friend of mine, is a programmer. He's brilliant. The pay is great, too. Well, that depends on what you specialise in, programming and designing websites are two totally different things but if that's what Max wants, then I think you should just—” Magnus rested a hand on Alec's leg, putting a stop to his rambling. Alec looked at Robert, who was silently _fuming_ as he looked at his eldest.

“My daughter is a _dancer_ -”

“And a historian!” Simon chimed in with an overly enthusiastic tone, but went unheard.

“My son is _gay_ ” Robert went on. Alec's heart sank, his toes curling. He thanked his choice to not wear socks, the burn of his skin against the floor of his shoes grounding him. He bit into his lower lip to stop it from trembling, chin jutting. “At least let me save face with my last child” Robert said, calm and composed.

It didn't take Alec more than a second before he was looking at Jace, whose soft underbelly had always been not fitting into the Lightwood family. Jace who had done everything in his power to gain the acceptance of his adoptive parents. He was staring at his half-empty plate, moving the food around aimlessly. Magnus stared between Jace and Robert, nonplussed. 

Everyone seemed too stunned into silence by Robert's gall to react, something that Robert didn't seem to notice, as the moment his phone rang, he excused himself with a lifted forefinger and left.

Now that he was out of sight, Maryse turned to Jace and placed a hand atop his, releasing a breath. “Oh, Jace” she whispered. 

Alec took a deep breath from his nose and let it out from his lips before splaying his hands on the table and pushing his chair back, bringing himself to stand. “I–” he swallowed around the letter, “I didn't get much sleep, so I'm going to..” he didn't bother completing his half assed attempt at an excuse, turning around and rushing towards the closest way to cold, fresh air.

The burn of his first inhale travelled through his pharynx and to his lungs. His hands shook as he wrapped his fingers around the balcony bannister, head hanging. With his eyes shut and the glacial contrast of the metal beneath his warm fingers, Alec felt grounded, at ease. His shoulders slacked, and he fluttered his eyes open to watch the breath leave his lips in a cloud of fog. 

He didn't have to look to his side to know Magnus had joined him, silently scanning the view. The silence extended for another minute, scorching hot until Alec felt like his lungs would explode from the lack of breath. “Are you here to rub it in?” he finally gritted out, much more unkind than he had intended, but he didn't have the effort to care. Not after his father had humiliated him so blatantly and publicly. His family, he could handle, but Magnus? Clary and her mum? Simon and his? _Luke?_

“When did you come out?” Magnus ignored Alec's snarky question as he turned to appraise the Lightwood with a look Alec dared liken to sympathy. It had guilt gnawing at Alec's insides. 

He swallowed, looking back ahead. “I never did,” he rasped, “I– not officially. I just.. You know me, I'm not good with words.” 

Magnus did know him. Like he knew the back of his hand. He remembered when they were younger how the Lightwood would use his hands trying to explain the plot of a new film to their friends or a project idea to a teacher then just give up with a groan and a ‘Magnus, you can take it from here.’ It was endearing to say the least, how his excitement always stood in the way of his coherency back then.

“I just paid someone to come home with me when we were having family dinner,” Alec paused to swipe his tongue over his lips, and Magnus tried to hold back a smile at the way Alec solved everything with money. “the last decent family dinner. Dad said he lost his appetite and left. Mom was silent the whole time and—” 

Magnus placed a hand on his shoulder, the gentle squeeze to it serving as a reminder to breathe. Alec did, deeply. “Sorry,” Alec said quietly, then again under his breath and Magnus knew that the apology delved deeper than his regrets for rambling. He ignored it, ignored the steady beat of his heart, too. “I just- had to get air. Felt like I was- like-” 

“Like you're trapped in your own body?” 

Alec didn't answer, didn't as much as breathe for minutes on end. Magnus' hand slid off his shoulder slowly, the warmth enveloping Alec's body disappearing in a flash. “Come on, let's get inside,” Magnus urged gently, though his tone brooked no argument. “Don't want you getting an ice burn.”

**⋆⋆⋆**

Robert, as expected, didn't join the family for ice-skating. 

And Isabelle, being the natural dancer she is, managed to hog all the attention as she pirouetted along the rink, smiling so widely that Alec found his own jaw aching. Clary was holding onto Simon for dear life as he slowly guided her in straight lines, back and forth until she got the hang of it. Jace was an utter disaster, he even did the splits twice and had everyone hissing sympathetically. It was hilariously satisfying to Alec, especially after the shit his brother put him through since the sapphire didn't budge from Alec's finger. 

Max refused to leave Magnus' side, the latter skating backwards and slowly walking the kid through. 

“You okay?” Jace asked a few strides away from Alec. Alec caught him before he could stumble and break his neck, steadying him. 

“Shouldn't _I_ be asking _you_ that?” Alec arched a brow. “Is your fertility still in tact?” He teased, bumping his shoulder into his brother's once they were standing side by side, leaning against the barricade of the rink.

“Maybe. Not so sure about my dignity though” Jace answered airily. “He's really good, y'know”. Alec didn't have to look at Jace to know who he was talking about, his own eyes finding Magnus. 

“Anyone's good compared to you” he deflected, chuckling lightly. Jace didn't have the chance to throw himself at Alec before he was landing on his butt. Alec smirked down at him with lordly airs but otherwise did nothing. Watching Jace struggle to get on his feet was the highlight of his day. 

When Magnus had approached him and invited him for a _tour around the rink_ , Alec stammered over an excuse that made Magnus' brows shoot up. “You always were bad at lying, darling” he had said, his gloved hands grasping Alec's. 

Alec let him.

**⋆⋆⋆**

Alec was fluffing up a pillow when Magnus strode in, toothbrush in mouth and chest on full display. He stopped once he saw what Alec was doing and pulled the toothbrush out of his mouth. “Can't risk it” he muffled out through the mouthful of frothy toothpaste, then left to spit it out.

When he reemerged, Alec once again found himself looking away, the tips of his ears feeling too hot. 

“Just get in bed, Alec” Magnus said, “I may be quite the early bird but who knows when your family will decide to pop in?” 

Alec was too tired to argue, so he slid into bed without a word, lifting the duvet to his chin and rubbing his legs together for warmth. 

He couldn't sleep though, even an hour after Magnus had turned the lights off. The events of the day crashed down on him. He couldn't get the man sleeping beside him out of his head either. The way he understood him _so_ well that it was as if they never fell out.

“I can hear the cogs turning in your head, Alexander.” 

Alec pressed his lips together, eyes falling shut. “Sorry” he whispered back. 

Magnus turned onto his side, his cold feet brushing against Alec's for just a millisecond. Alec let out a breath at the contact. “Can I ask you something?” He didn't let Alec answer, “I don't need your answer right away, as I am greatly enjoying annoying your father into oblivion.” 

Alec huffed a quiet laugh.

“Did you strike this deal to annoy your parents?” Magnus asked, “or did you do it because you're eager for their acceptance?” 

Alec turned his head slowly, eyelids suddenly heavy. “I stopped seeking their acceptance the day I thought I'd have it.” 

The lights weren't on, but even in the dark, Magnus could see the moisture gathered at the corners of Alec's eyes. “Karma's a bitch, isn't it?” Alec laughed out, trying to lighten the mood. It had the absolute opposite effect, he noticed, when Magnus tensed, jaw tightening. 

“You were sixteen” Magnus uttered, like that was enough to justify what Alec did. “And you can't possibly compare. My mother was nothing short of supportive when I came out.”

“Well, I wasn't” Alec retorted in a heartbeat, his own words catching him off guard. He rubbed a hand over his face tiredly, the conversation seeming to drain him beyond emotionally. “I wasn't.” 

“Alexander, it wasn't–”

“No” Alec cut in. “No. Things have changed over the past decade, Magnus. Coming out is terrifying, it's a blind choice. You don't know who will stay with you and who will walk out of the closest door. But back then? Back then, coming out was _dissenting._ Don't think for a second that I didn't see the way you were crumbling with every lost friendship. And I know you and Mrs. Bane moved away because no one—”

“Enough” Magnus barked. Alec snapped his mouth shut, the word ringing loudly in the silence encompassing them. Magnus turned his back to him, pulling the covers over himself like a shield. Alec didn't move, even when he heard Magnus' teary breathing.

Sleep didn't find him that night, so Alec climbed out of bed when the clock ticked to two in the morning and tiptoed out the room to get himself a drink at the hotel's bar. He sat up on the bar stool, dropping his face into his hands.

“What can I get you?” 

Alec ran his hands down his features and looked up. “Anything” he breathed out, “please.”

The bartender regarded him for a moment before turning around to get him a glass. When she returned, she slid the cup across the bar to him and leant forward with a small smirk. “You're this close to snotting all over my bar” she teased. “Anything you want to let out?” 

Alec took a small sip of the drink she had mixed him, face scrunching immediately. It made her laugh with a slow shake of her head and when she wasn't able to draw any answer out of him, she attended to other stayers, leaving a bottle of whiskey next to Alec.

Alec didn't let it go to waste, pouring one glass after another until every iota of what he felt upstairs was gone. Guilt, sadness, indignation, loneliness, disconnection. It all withered until all he could feel was nausea and sleepiness. He poured another glass, groaning when the cup tipped over and spilt its contents onto the bar. He began wiping it with his sleeve, a moue of frustration on his lips. 

“Easy” a distant, somewhat familiar voice came, getting closer before Alec's hand was being pushed away, replaced with a duster. Alec looked at the bartender's hand, fingers adorned with countless rings that brought to surface the blurred guilt wallowing in Alec's liquid numbness. “No more drinking for you” the bartender took the bottle and glass away from Alec and returned a minute later with water. “Now, I'm not called a bartender for nothing. I'm trained to deal with the problems of my customers.” 

Alec rubbed at his face tiredly. “'M so tired” he exhaled, words tumbling over each other. “So tired.” 

The bartender looked at him for a moment and Alec suddenly felt exposed, like everything he was feeling and the fact his tiredness was more than simple sleepiness was written all over his face. The last thing Alec remembered was her undoing her apron and motioning for someone to take her shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to be clear, nothing bad will be done to Alec. he was just too drunk to keep his pretty eyes open. 🙏


	5. V

The unabating pulses of pain in Alec’s temples were what rose him from his sleep, the headache only worsening by the sunless light casting into the room. He couldn’t remember much from the night before, only that he wished it hadn’t happened.

Just as he was about to flutter his eyes open, he felt something wet pressing down onto his forehead. A groan rumbled in his chest and with great effort, he blinked against the dull light. And let his eyes fall shut, instantly regretting it. His eyeballs were aching, and it felt like he’d been battered on the head at least a dozen times. 

“Hey, easy, easy”. _Magnus._ Alec seemingly relaxed upon hearing his voice, easing back down against the cushions as he made a final effort to open his eyes. Magnus began answering Alec’s unvoiced questions, calm and composed. “You took to the bottle too heavily last night. The bartender was kind enough to enquire about your room number and brought you up here.”

Alec winced. “Oh”. That still didn’t explain why Magnus was sitting beside him with a wet compress in hand. 

“You had a mild fever” Magnus averred, placing the white piece of cloth against Alec’s head and taking a hold of Alec’s hand to place it atop it. “Hold it.”

“’M sorry” Alec uttered tiredly, still in a drunken stupor. Magnus didn’t answer, standing up to roam the room without a certain purpose. He began to tidy things, ineffectively distracting himself. “Shouldn’t’ve said what I said” Alec continued, slurring a little. Magnus stopped in his tracks, lips pursed, then he turned around to look at Alec. To _actually_ look at him. Alec had undone the makeshift compress and was refolding it with a solemn look on his face. Magnus knew his attentive origami-folding was just him not wanting to look at Magnus when he spoke.

Magnus’ eyes lingered for a few seconds before he walked towards the Lightwood and took a seat on the bed next to him, pulling the cloth out of his hands and placing it in the bowl of melting ice. 

Having nothing else to fiddle with, Alec began twiddling his thumbs.

“I need to tell you something,” Magnus said quietly. “I–”

“It’s fine” Alec interrupted before Magnus had the chance to talk. “I was out of bounds and if you want to call this..” he waves a finger between the two of them, “..arrangement off, I’m completely fine with it.”

“Alec–”

“I mean, Luke already knows and Izzy and Jace know, it’s just a matter of time before Clary, Simon, Max, mom, dad and Tom fucking Hardy find out so–”. Magnus wanted to question as to how Izzy and Luke found out and how Tom fucking Hardy was to find out, but he had more important things to say. “Alec, it’s not–”  
“I really don’t mind, Magnus” Alec said, reaching for Magnus’ hands. They’re cold as they envelop Magnus’. Magnus looked up, eyes softening with sympathy.

“Your father’s cheating on Maryse, Alexander.”

And just like that, the kindness in Alec’s eyes slipped, replaced with a sort of coldness that made his hands seem warm over Magnus’. He pulled his hands away slowly, stunned by the sudden statement.

Magnus wanted to curse Ragnor, who he’d called in the middle of the night to ask how to drop the news. Ragnor had told him the best way to do so was to just say it, no intro. 

“What?” Alec’s voice considerably lowered, hoarse with disbelief. 

Magnus licked his lips, glancing away. “Yesterday, after... after we came back from the rink, I stayed till last because I offered to carry Jace’s bags since he was pretty much in pieces when he was done skating,

“and on my way inside I overheard your father speaking on the phone. He was leaving the hotel and he didn’t exactly heed my presence,” he paused, “I didn’t listen in, but I caught a few words and they seemed to be of… an intimate nature.”

Alec drew his brows together. “He could’ve been talking to mom.”

“I haven’t been here long, Alexander, but I’ve been here long enough to know your parents aren’t on terms that allow Robert to tell Maryse he wants to, and I recite, _rip her clothes off–_ ”

“Ok, ok” Alec lifted a hand, not wanting to hear anymore. “You’ve made your point. But why didn’t you tell me then?”

Magnus sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “You seemed to be dealing with too much” he replied, somewhat timid for his usual plain honesty. “I didn’t want to add up to that.”

He didn’t know what he’d expected, but Alec moving closer and resting a hand on his back wasn’t even on his list. He looked up to find a small, kind smile grazing Alec’s dry lips. “Thank you, Magnus” he said, thumb drawing slow circles against Magnus’ clothed skin. It didn’t stop the gooseflesh from specking across his arms, raising the hairs on them. “For telling me and for… everything.”

Magnus didn’t know how to respond to that, so he settled on a smile.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Breakfast was as unpleasant as the day before. Robert seemed a little less grouchy though, the newspaper usually glued to his hands discarded elsewhere. “Good morning” he’d said as he sat down in his designated seat. 

Alec wanted to puke. His stomach churned at the idea of his father literally _glowing_ the way he was right now. “Morning, dad” he responded formally, “hope you slept well.”

Robert regarded him for a moment before reaching for the teapot. “I slept fine” he answered tersely. 

Maryse cleared her throat and wiggled in her chair uncomfortably. “What are we doing today?” she asked, a good conversation starter that made everyone around the table fall into conversation.

“Nothing with too much moving,” Magnus chimed in, “I could swear Jace was limping all the way down the stairs.”

Jace rolled his eyes. “I’m fine” he took a mouthful of his oatmeal. “You’re jealous you’re not as flexible as I am. I did the splits at least three times. Everyone who saw me thought I was a pro.”

Magnus laughed out loud, head tilted back as he slumped back against his seat. “Oh, dear.”

“Magnus is pretty flexible” Alec remarked absentmindedly, grabbing a piece of bread from a close by basket. “Explains why I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Max let out a loud ‘TMI’, palms pressed to his ears. Everyone else seemed to enjoy the crude side of Alec, laughing in shock at his brazen commentary. Magnus flicked Alec’s cheek, tutting his tongue. “What we do in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, my love” he scolded fondly. 

Alec grinned, ignoring the fading effect of the paracetamol he had taken as he reached for Magnus’ hand and lifted it to his lips. He didn’t look away from Magnus as he pressed a kiss to his knuckles. 

“Ahem” Simon cleared his throat pointedly, making both Alec and Magnus turn in his direction. “Envious eyes” Simon clarified. 

Alec’s eyes stopped mid-roll once he realised Izzy was looking at him, curious. He slowly let go of Magnus’ hand and looked back at his food, ignoring her gaze throughout breakfast.

After breakfast, he went to the bar where he’d spent the night before. The bartender looked up at him the moment he placed a $100 bill on the bar. “For putting up with me” he said, scowling when she laughed. 

“No worries, it’s my job. Although...” she trailed off and took the paper money. “I deserve that. Since you puked all over my favourite crop top.” Alec cringed.

“I’m sorry” he apologised, “I was having a rough day. Any other person would’ve exploited my inebriation. So.. thank you..” he trailed off, tilting his head.

“Maia” the bartender pointed to her name tag. “Nice to meet you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood” she held her hand out. 

Alec grunted, hating the sound of his name in its full glory. Sounded like the name of a Greek warrior. What were his parents thinking? “How’d you know my name?”

“Your ID. Needed it to find your room” Maia replied, downing a shot. 

“Are you allowed to drink?” Alec arched a brow, stepping a little closer to the bar. “Isn’t there some sort of rule against that?”

Maia rolled her eyes in response. “Rules are boring,” she stated, “besides, it takes a _lot_ more than a shot to help me deal with shitty customers.”

Alec grinned. “It was nice meeting you” he said, nodding his head.

“I would say the same thing if I didn’t see brutal images of my favourite top every time I lay eyes on you”. Alec liked her. She was honest and funny and pretty cool to talk to. “By the way, your fiancé tips more generously than you do” was the last thing she had to say before she was wandering off, smirking at Alec’s thunderous laughter.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec knew there was at least one valid reason he couldn’t cosy up to Clary, it was only a matter of time before he placed his finger on it. 

Apparently, the time was now, when she opened her mouth with a so-called _‘great idea to spend the night’_.

They didn’t do much that day, deciding to give Jace’s tight muscles a day off. Robert didn’t join them for dinner, and Alec hated that he knew exactly why. Elaine and Jocelyn went shopping. They had asked Maryse if she’d like to join them, but Maryse declined with a polite ‘I’m too tired’ that Alec didn’t believe for a second. 

“Let’s play best couple!” Clary had exclaimed, already pulling a notebook and pen out. Everyone shared glances, doubting that was even a real game. Following a small fight over who will be married after Alec and Magnus are, Clary seemed pretty adamant to prove she and Jace were the closest and cutest. “We just need to see which couple knows each other more! The one with the most points will...” she trailed off, realising the flaw in her plan.

“Will get married first?” Alec finished off, voice dripping satire as he looked at her with obvious boredom. Magnus huffed, bumping his shoulder into his as the group cackled with laughter.

Clary gave a moue of annoyance, jutting her chin out. She was settled between Jace’s thighs, resting back against his chest. When he sensed her annoyance, he laughed and pressed a kiss against her shoulder. “We’ll get married one day” he promised quietly. Her cheeks flushed, and she turned her head to kiss his cheek.

Alec smirked, twisting the ring meant for her, slow and elaborate as he looked at his brother. “And maybe your ring will be as pretty as mine” he teased. Jace’s glare was worth it, even if it was followed by a kick to Alec’s thigh. 

But now they were sitting in pairs, playing a game that _required_ pairs. 

Simon and Izzy.  
Magnus and Alec.  
Clary and Jace.

Everyone seemed to have the same thing in mind, since they all turned to look at Luke and Maryse. 

Luke waved a hand. “You kids go ahead and play” he said, in time with Maryse’s “I know a few things about Luke.”

They ended up sitting in four pairs, Max sitting on the bed with his laptop on his crossed legs. 

“Ok, who’s going first?” Clary asked, moving away from Jace like a man on a mission. “Alec?” she looked at him, a silent challenge in her eyes. Alec pressed his lips together, then rolled his shoulders back.

“Bring it on, Fairchild.”

“Rules are, you two answer at the same time, any asynchronous answer will be crossed out, agreed?”

Alec nodded.

“Ok” she sat up, “what’s Magnus’ favourite ice cream flavour?”

“Pistachio” Magnus and Alec shouted out at the same time. Alec could feel a blush rising to his cheeks as he harrumphed to compose himself. He spared Magnus a quick glance, taking note of the small smile he wore.

Clary grumbled, scribbling on her book. “Alec’s?” she asked distractedly.

“Bubblegum.”

Jace sputtered a laugh, making Alec wipe his sleeve over his cheek with an ‘ew’. Izzy looked at Alec, eyes wide. “Bubblegum?” Simon asked for her, pushing his glasses up. “You for real? I would’ve expected... I don’t know, sea salt.”

Maryse chuckled lightly, and that seemed to have brought the smallest of smiles to Alec’s lips.

Clary huffed, scribbling some more. “Magnus’ favourite… movie?”

Alec hesitated for a heartbeat before he looked at Magnus and drawled a reluctant, “Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride?”

Magnus looked back at him, a muscle in his jaw flickering as he looked between Alec’s eyes. Alec could feel his heart begin to beat a little bit faster the longer Magnus looked at him. It was too much. _Too much._

“Aha!” Clary shouted out, happy with the one-voiced answer. Alec and Magnus looked away and back at Clary. “Alec’s favour–”

“Merchant of Venice” Magnus said, cutting her off. Alec had joined in when he realised Magnus was already answering. “He read the book before watching the film, always pointed out the differences.”

Alec glanced away, to Jace, who was watching them struggle with a look of confusion but a small smirk on his face nonetheless. Alec wanted to punch him.

“I’m going to give you an easy one,” Clary said, sighing dramatically, “what’s Magnus’ job?”

Alec paused for a moment, filling his cheeks with air. _Fuck._ What was his job? He remembered Magnus wanted to be a biologist when they were younger. Magnus was stubborn and always got what he wanted, so Alec risked the exposure of their entire sham relationship and said ‘biologist’. 

In sync with Magnus’. He released a breath, not daring to look at Magnus, not when he was answering all those questions blindly _and_ correctly.

Clary muttered something under her breath. “Alec’s?”

“Civil engineer,” Magnus said without an iota of hesitation, “but he wanted to be a social worker.”

Alec noticed that it wasn’t them competing with the rival couples anymore as much as it was them competing with _each other_ over who knows the other more.

“Magnus’ favourite animal?”

Alec hadn’t known this for a long time, but since Magnus owned a cat whom he treated like royalty, Alec assumed he was more of a feline person. “Cats” he said, word a mumble.

Magnus said ‘tigers’ and Clary was more than happy to cross outa point. “Which _is_ a sort of cat, biscuit” Magnus said pointedly, arching a brow at her slowing hand. She scowled, putting the pen down and Magnus answered her before she even let the question out. “Quokkas! He even took a selfie with one once”. 

“Alec? A selfie?” Simon said, bewildered, “he’s a whole different man around you!”

Alec hung his head, shutting his eyes for a second. “Ok, that’s enough questions” he said, then brought himself to stand. “This room’s stuffy. I need some air.”

Magnus made a move to stand up as well, but Alec stopped him. “Hey, I want to make sure Fairchild doesn’t cheat,” he aimed a playful glare in her direction. “You stay, I’ll be back.”

Luke gave one of his knowing laughs, half-hummed. “He’s not going anywhere when you put _that_ ring on his finger” he said smugly. Alec blushed, shaking his head as he walked away. 

“Ok, who’s next?!” Alec heard Clary ask as he quietly shut the door behind him. He walked straight to his father’s room, knocking twice before pushing the door open. Robert wasn’t there but Alec could hear the shower running. So, he took the opportunity and went right for the phone laying on the bedside table. 

He examined it closely, tilting it to find the button to turn it on. ‘iPhones’ he muttered under his breath. His father had gifted him one of those things on his 17th birthday, but it was too boring and complicated. It took him nearly half a year to find out how to change the ringtone. He went back to Android as soon as he had saved up for one and hasn’t lay a finger on any Apple product since then. 

A profanity left his lips when he saw the required 4-digit passcode. He gave his surrounding a cursory look, as if they had a hint. He entered Robert’s birth year, then his mind was blank because... well, Robert didn’t love anyone enough to put their birth year as his phone passcode. Except maybe his mistress.

“What are you doing here?” 

Alec didn’t even bother to hide the answer to that, turning to his father as he clenched the phone tighter in his hand. Robert’s eyebrows rose as he inclined his head at his eldest’s hand.

Alec held it tighter, jaw taut. “Are you cheating on mom?” he didn’t doubt Magnus’ reliability, he knew he wouldn’t tell him something without making sure it was true. Robert was clearly taken aback; the first genuine human reaction Alec had seen from him in quite some time. “Well? Are you?” Alec couldn’t help the modest amount of smug confidence seeping into his tone as he stepped closer.

“Alec, I can explain.”

God, Alec couldn’t feel guilty hearing the fear in his father’s voice. It gave him the upper hand. He stepped even closer, crossing his arms over his chest. “Explain.”

Robert looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He looked away, then back at Alec. “You know what it’s like, Alec. I fell in love. Just like you and Magn–”

“Don’t,” Alec shouted before Robert could let Magnus’ whole name out. “Bring Magnus into this. He isn’t an affair.”

Robert didn’t say anything. Alec slid the phone into the pocket of Robert’s bathrobe, then leant down. “If you don’t tell mom, I will” he said quietly, then brushed past him and left.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Magnus looked up from his tablet when Alec left the shower and Alec quickly took a step back, slinging his towel over his shoulder. He mouthed a ‘shall I go?’ at Magnus, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. 

Magnus shook his head. “Cat, I’ve got to hang up, we’ll speak tomorrow,” he said, looking back at his screen. “Kiss the Chairman for me and tell Ragnor I said I’m never asking him for advice again” he laughed at whatever Catarina said into his earphones, then made a loud ‘mwah!’ sound, kissing the tips of his fingers. 

He put his device down and Alec smiled at how delicately he removed his earphones, one at a time instead of just tugging them out the way Alec usually did. Magnus folded them gently and placed them on his bedside table, on top of his tablet. “Where did you go?” He asked, getting out of bed to pull the covers back. “Luke and Maryse won.”

Alec stopped drying himself off and looked up. “Really?”

“Really, really” Magnus pulled back Alec’s side of the covers. “So, where did you go?”

Alec licked his lips, opening the closet to pull out his underwear and loose joggers. “I went to confront Robert” he replied casually, turning to look at Magnus. He made circles with his forefinger, so Magnus could turn around while he got dressed, then he let go of the towel and Magnus looked away, chewing the inside of his lip. “It went well, I told him to tell mom before I do.”

Magnus slithered under the sheets, sighing at the gentleness of the eiderdown against his bare skin. “Smart move” he exhaled tiredly. 

Alec slid into bed next to him. He reached for the lamp beside his head and switched it off before inching back down against his pillows. “Good night, Magnus” he said in an undertone, eyes drifting shut. 

“Good night, Alexander” Magnus responded quietly, his eyes catching the gleam of the blue sapphire Alec usually slept without. He fell asleep to its winking shimmer.


	6. VI

Magnus wasn’t always an early bird, was Alec’s first thought when he woke up before the man laying beside him. It’d been a few days since he’d confronted his father and ever since then, Robert hadn’t made a single waspish comment; not on Izzy’s predilection for dancing, not on Magnus, and not on Alec’s sexuality. Everyone seemed weirded out by his uncharacteristic quietness. 

Alec was lost in thought, contemplating ways to approach the subject if Robert opted for not telling Maryse about his affair. Telling the rest of the family had crossed his mind several times since he himself found out, but not now, when they were having the most fun a family as in pieces as theirs can get. Beside him, Magnus stirred, still deep in sleep, and Alec blinked himself out of his thoughts. 

Magnus’ back turned to him, the eiderdown gathered at his hips in a pool. Instinctively, Alec reached for it, beginning to slide it up Magnus’ body to make sure he stays warm, then came to a sudden stop when he noticed the tattoo inked on the left side of Magnus' back, starting on his shoulder blades. Alec’s eyes traced its design, following it down to where it disappeared beneath the waistband of his boxers. 

Absently, he lifted a hand and stroked gently over it, a barely-there brush of his fingertips. He followed the path of his gaze with revering fingers, stopping just shy of his ribs when he realised what he was doing.

He pulled his hand away a second later and tucked it beneath his head, clearing his throat. _Get it together._

“Why’d you stop?” the question was guttural with sleep and with Magnus’ back to him, Alec wasn’t sure if he was even awake at all. 

“Sorry,” Alec apologised faintly, “I was just…” _touching your tattoo? admiring it? interested in its design..as a person who designs and constructs roads and stuff?_

“Checking out my tattoo?” Magnus offered. _Or that._ “Gladioli” he went on conversationally, brushing a hand down the emblem marking his skin, coloured in a dark shade of red. “Catarina’s twenty first birthday gift to me.”

Alec watched Magnus’ deft fingers blindly follow the ink, like he’d done it a thousand times before, committing each petal and sepal to memory. He ran his thumb gently over the stamen of a gladiolus before pulling himself out of his thoughts, patting the tattoo twice and rolling onto his back. 

He looked up at the ceiling with a deep breath. “Weird,” he said quietly, “your family’s usually here by now, ready to raise my hackles.”

Alec shrugged, unoffended. “Give them time” he answered, just as quiet. He didn’t feel like pillow-talking, especially not with someone who can barely stand him unless he’s being paid to. He glanced at Magnus, it was brief and heart-skipping, and he was beyond relieved to find Magnus’ eyes shut. It allowed him to look a little longer, even if he knew Magnus would eventually feel his gaze.

Magnus had changed since they last saw one another. And although he'd gained muscle over the years, always drawing Alec’s eyes to where his shirt looks like it’s about to burst, that wasn’t what caught Alec’s attention. 

Magnus looked… sage, experienced. Less carefree. Alec wanted to ask what had changed, what had happened, but knew it wasn’t his place to ask, wasn’t fair of him to ask when he could’ve been there, but hadn’t been. He had to rub his fingers together to hold back from brushing them over the fine frown lines between Magnus’ brows. “Magnus?” his name left Alec’s lips in a breath, the weight of everything he wanted to say pressing down on his lungs. 

“Hm?” 

“Can we talk?” Alec asked. He felt hot all of a sudden, warmth daubing his neck and making his hair stick to his nape. “I mean– I have– there are a lot of things I need to— _want to_ say.”

“Are these things extra rules?” Magnus asked absent-mindedly. Alec was only a letter into ‘no’ when Magnus went on. “Objections?” 

Alec shook his head this time. “Do they have anything to do with our arrangement?”

Alec opened his mouth, then shut it in defeat, shaking his head. Before Magnus could make things more awkward with a ‘then no’, Izzy and Clary knocked twice and came in to wake them up.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec wasn’t a jealous person. He knew he wasn’t. He was absolutely, baselessly sure he wasn’t. 

But seeing Magnus talk with Zara, her hand occasionally brushing his arm... even downing the drink in his hand couldn’t dampen the spark of heated jealousy burning in his gut. Instead, it _ignited it_ , making him look away, at anything that would distract him. 

He knew it was a _family holiday,_ and that sooner or later, more members of his extended family would arrive, but it never occurred to him that some of those members had _taste,_ and would find Magnus as attractive as he does. It also didn't occur to him that some of them are covetous. _Especially Zara._

She wasn't a family member, just the daughter of some of the family's oldest friends, also the wife of Diego Rosales, an unfortunate man if Alec says so himself. And Diego was a cousin of a cousin of a cousin who Alec had only seen twice or thrice.

Alec remembered the numerous times she, when they were children, ran to Maryse with crocodile tears in her eyes, wanting to share Alec's toys, wanting to share his chocolate bars, wanting to take a turn on the swing Alec had just gotten on. And now... now she was standing in front of Magnus, rapacious fingers trailing over his bare forearm, a high-pitched tee-hee passing her cherry red lips as she moved even closer. 

Alec swallowed the jealousy building up in his throat like bile, taking a deep breath to compose himself. He's being childish. Zara wouldn’t try her hand, not at Magnus, an _engaged man._ She had more dignity than that— whatever he was trying to dispel his qualms with disappeared the moment Zara lifted a hand to brush her claws through the front of Magnus' hair, an act that had Magnus himself stepping back a stride and looking around, wondering if anyone had seen. 

Alec placed his empty glass on the tray of a passing server and wiped the back of his hand over his lips. He straightened his back, put on a smile, then made his way towards the two. Alec did find Magnus’ behaviour more excusable, given he _knew_ their relationship wasn’t real. Zara on the other hand...

“There you are!” Alec exclaimed as he approached his faux fiancé, wrapping his arms around him from behind. His eyes didn’t leave Zara as he rested his chin against the crook of Magnus’ neck, the victory of seeing her flirtatious smile fall making him tilt his head to press his lips to Magnus' neck, nuzzling the skin there. Magnus didn’t seem to mind, melting back against him with a content hum, hands resting atop his. “Here I am” he echoed in a dulcet voice, tilting his head slightly to the side. 

Zara cleared her throat sharply, drawing both their attention to her. “Magnus?” She said, smile less kittenish than before.

“Ah” Magnus answered quietly, “sorry, dear. Alexander threw me off” he squeezed gently on Alec’s hands. “What were you saying?” 

Zara’s eyes flickered from Magnus to Alec, who was swaying lightly with a smug upturn of his lips. Their eyes met, challenge glistening in her own. “Did Alec tell you we were to be wed?” 

Magnus’ brows rose, a laugh leaving his lips as he turned his head in Alec’s direction, wanting to tease him. He stopped in his tracks when he heeded their close proximity, and before he could stop himself, his eyes drifted to Alec’s lips, only for an instant before flickering back up to his hazels. “No, he did not” he said quietly, hands loosening on Alec’s.

Alec swallowed, the smugness of his smirk subsiding to something softer.

Magnus managed to tear his eyes away, turning back to Zara with renewed poise. “Though I’m not quite sorry to have stolen your gay betrothed.” 

Zara laughed, throwing her head back, and Magnus laughed along, resting his back against Alec’s shoulder. By the time he’d stopped laughing, at Zara instead of _with_ her, Zara had stepped closer, sliding a slip of paper into the pocket on the chest of his jacket.

She patted it, looking up at him through hazels that made Magnus think the colour only suited one person and one person only. “Alec’s a tedious thing. You’ll get bored eventually. When that happens, you can call me for some _real_ fun.” The proposal was accentuated with a suggestive wink. As she walked past them, she patted Alec on the shoulder, the silent _better luck next time_ not lost on him.

Alec pulled away from Magnus, in a fashion that suggested he was admitting defeat, head still held high, but eyes cast downward. He felt considerably smaller, couldn’t even bring himself to stand straighter. Magnus twirled to face him, what’s left of his smile disappearing the second he caught sight of his stance.

He stepped a little closer, ducking his head to catch Alec’s eye. “What is it?” He asked.

When Alec didn’t respond, understanding crossed Magnus’ features, a laugh of sheer incredulity leaving him as he shook his head lightly. “You can’t possibly think I was charmed by her.” 

Alec lifted his gaze. 

Magnus had to look away, licking his lips with another exasperated shake of his head. “You _really_ think I’d jilt you for her?” It was playful, in character, a question not for Alec but for the prying ears listening in on then. Alec smiled anyway, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks, painting the tips of his ears. 

Magnus lifted a hand, a hint of reluctance in the movement, then held Alec’s chin between his thumb and index, coaxing him into looking at him. “She doesn’t hold a candle on you, Alexander.” That was _quiet._ Too quiet. Alec had to pay their surroundings a cursory look because there was no way anyone other than himself heard it. And that knowledge alone was enough for his heart to speed up in his chest. 

When he fixed his eyes back on Magnus, Magnus was looking right back, candour visible in his dark eyes. Alec opened his mouth to respond, to contradict, but Jace interrupted them before he could even begin. 

“Alright, lovebirds, time’s up. Go and pack your stuff, we’re leaving for the airport in twenty.” 

They drew apart, both looking in opposite directions with a barely identifiable smile on their lips.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

On the plane, they sat side by side. Alec stole a few glances at Magnus every now and again, wanting to say something to break the tension-charged silence but not knowing what. Eventually, Magnus pulled one of his earphones out and silently handed it to Alec, who hesitated, just for a split second, before taking it. He rested his head back, shutting his eyes to the sound of their own world, and deep down inside, he cursed the second he began feeling less like a performer and more like an onlooker.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec didn’t have an excuse to drive Magnus home. He didn’t need one either. Everyone would suspect something was up if he were to leave him to go home alone and to be frank, Alec wanted to help. Even if it’s just this one little thing.

He pulled to a stop just outside Magnus’ house and turned to him, a small smile curving his lips. “You sure you don’t want me to help get your stuff inside?”

Magnus, hand already pushing the car door open, looked back at Alec with a playful smile of his own. “For someone who spent his entire morning ogling my half naked body, I would’ve expected you to’ve seen just how capable I am of handling myself.”

Alec huffed, slumping back against his seat and folding his arms over his chest. “I wasn’t _ogling_ ,” he said, affronted. His smiley countenance remained intact, though, eyes staring ahead. “I was just… admiring.”

Magnus hummed a ‘mmhm’, “well, in that case, you’re excused. I’ll let you live that one down.”

Alec nodded his thanks, looking back at Magnus when the latter made no move to leave. “Thank you” he said, somewhat quiet. “And not just for… you know, putting up with me and the family but for… everything. You didn’t have to tell me about the affair, but you did. So…” he bowed his head in another thankful gesture.

Magnus didn’t say a word for a handful of seconds, lips pursed over contemplative silence, then he sat back, closing the door. “The man we moved in with,” he said, voice a contrast with the teasing tone he was using last time he spoke. “He— He gave mom everything she wanted, money and clothes and jewellery, everything her heart desired. But, when he got mad, he’d hold things over her head, remind her of all the favours he’d _bestowed upon us_ , that he’s the one keeping a roof over our heads. I always felt like it was my fault.

“Maybe it was. When we lived in your neighbourhood, she had a job, she had friends, friends who were like the family she never had, but I– I screwed it up with my selfish desire to come out.”

“That wasn’t selfishness” Alec said hurriedly. “That was courage. Even she was supportive of your decision, Magnus.”

Magnus’ lips twisted into a bitter smile. “Less people visited us, we were invited to less and less get-togethers. People began whispering to each other whenever we went to Church, whenever we went grocery shopping. It got so bad that I offered to go instead, didn’t want her to suffer the consequences of my actions… you see, I wasn’t the only one who lost friends back then.”

Alec felt like it was his turn to speak, to apologise, to justify himself. To do anything.

“Then, a charming, wealthy man came along and showed interest in her, didn’t judge us based on the stink eye people gave us. He was kind. And although his proposal was rushed, mom jumped the opportunity because she was scared for me, for my mental health after my coming out. We moved, it was… amazing at first. He was kind-hearted and caring,” a pause, “until he wasn’t, of course. What’s the point in feeding a fish after trawling it, right?” a humourless laugh followed his question and he wiped his sleeve over his eyes.

Alec’s fingers twitched against his lap, a muscle in his jaw quavering. 

“He started treating her like a... servant. Yelled at her when the food wasn’t good enough. Allowed his own children to do the same sometimes. Then he brought another woman home and I couldn’t take it anymore. I worked day and night, between waitering and janitoring, until I had enough money to rent us a snug apartment, not quite as elegant as the one she has now but… enough for the time being. Enough to make her feel liberated from him. She’s happier now, working for a living instead of grovelling at the feet of an unworthy man.”

“Magnus, I’m so sorry” Alec whispered, throat raw. 

“So,” Magnus turned to Alec, tight smile on his lips. “If my mom had that chance, yours should as well.”

“Even if she barely acknowledges you?” Alec hoped Magnus would say something selfish, hurtful even. Anything that would make him less the compassionate person he was being right now, something that would make the teeming adoration rising in Alec’s chest ebb away. He couldn’t afford this. Not again.

“She’s not a bad person, Alexander.”

“But she was the reason we stopped being friends” Alec couldn’t suppress the words, he couldn’t even curb the flare of anger charring them. 

Magnus stilled, brows pinching in confusion. “Come again?”

Alec shook his head, twisting the key in the ignition. “Nothing. It’s getting late” he said quietly, hoping his voice brooked no argument.

Magnus nodded once. “Alright then” he exhaled, pushing the door open. “You have my number in case an emergency arises.”

Alec only managed a nod, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. 

“Good night, Alexander.”

Alec waited until Magnus was inside, watched him bend down at the door to take his cat into his arms, then he drove away, tightening the reins on every word he was dying to unbridle.


	7. VII

“Drinking isn’t attractive” Raphael’s comment was offhand, murmured, his eyes not leaving his laptop as he tapped away on the keyboard. 

Magnus hummed, taking another sip of his drink as crossed his ankles, resting his feet on the table before him. “Good thing I’m aiming for drunk then; not attractive, hm?” he let out a breath, setting his drink down when a low _ding_ came from his phone.

Sliding his thumb over the screen, he tried to hide the interest on his visage from Raphael.

“Lightwood?” _Failed._

“That, is none of your concern” Magnus answered, a small smirk curving his lips as he pressed down on the Messages app. Raphael hid his commentary behind a harrumph, pointed and teasing. “Heard that, Santiago.”

 

**Lightwood: what kind of situations are classed as emergencies? I don’t want to bother you over nothing. **

 

Magnus found himself smiling slightly at the message, receiving another behind-the-hand remark from Raphael. “Get that cough of yours checked, will you, dear?”

 

**Magnus: Anything that calls for my presence. Any upcoming family dinners? Though I don’t think my absence would be noticed.**

 

**Lightwood: oi, we said no more commenting on how sexually active my family is. **

 

Magnus had to bite the insides of his cheeks, hard, to curb his grin. He shook his head lightly, wetting his lips with a slide of his tongue as his thumbs danced thoughtfully over the screen.

 

**Magnus: Apologies, Alexander. I didn’t mean to offend.**

 

**Lightwood: no, don’t apologize. i was just kidding.**

 

**Magnus: Uh-huh. Can I ask you something though?**

 

**Lightwood: anything.**

 

**Magnus: Haven’t they run out of names yet?**

 

**Lightwood: magnus, I swear to god.**

 

Magnus huffed a laugh, clicking his phone off and throwing it aside. He regretted it the moment he looked up and saw Raphael staring at him, fairly unamused. “It’s business” he said casually, distracting himself by idly running his fingers through the Chairman’s hair.

“Right” Raphael answered, “we work in the same lab, Magnus. I haven’t seen your teeth until today.”

Magnus chuckled, then flashed his teeth at him. “Take a very good look, you’re not quite as pleasant as Alec.”

“Oh, really now?” Raphael smirked, having found Magnus out. Magnus meant to deny the knowing tilt of his friend’s lips but was interrupted before he could begin. Raphael sank down in his seat, eyes drifting back to his laptop. “I’m sure Catarina and Ragnor would be delighted to know about your little… calf love.” The playful threat imbedded in his words didn’t go unheard.

Magnus huffed, rolling his eyes in irk. “Never pegged you as an extortioner, Rapha. I’m impressed” he lifted his glass to his lips and sipped at it. Raphael blinked, unfazed. “I guess you’re the lesser of two evils” Magnus sighed, caving. “Alec and I used to be friends back when we were young.”

That seemed to have finally drawn a reaction from Raphael, who looked up, brows rising a tenuous bit before he flung his laptop shut and adjusted his position. Magnus fought the urge to roll his eyes again. “It isn’t a great story. Mom and I moved into the neighbourhood when I was… six, I believe. I met Alec then, he was a year younger. We used to play from the crack of dawn _allllll_ the way till our parents told us it was getting dark and we should get inside. Usually, Alec would stay at mine, since I lived just down the street.”

Raphael smiled, small and barely noticeable. 

“We grew up together, went to the same schools, had plenty of sleepovers, pranked darling Isabelle,” Magnus paused, smiling at a certain memory, “and when Maryse and Robert adopted Jace, I was… I wouldn’t say _jealous–_ ”

“Don’t kid yourself. Your eyes are turning green at the memory itself” Raphael interposed, folding his arms over his chest.

Magnus chuckled. “I was jealous. Thought now that there’s someone new, Alec would start spending less time with me. I was eleven at the time, my concerns were very valid. Stop laughing at me!”

Raphael covered his laugh with a fist, composing himself. It was an act aimed to salvage his stoic-mysterious-poised-man reputation more than it was to save Magnus’ blushes. “Go on.”

“And during one of our sleepovers, I asked him if Jace is more fun than I am,” Magnus paused, twisting a ring around his finger. “He asked me if I was jealous, teased me about it a little, then told me no one can take my place.

“We got into high-school. I started having my suspicions regarding my sexuality. I was scared, to put it mildly. Couldn’t concentrate, overthought, even skipped days after days of school” he let out a breath. “Mom asked me what was wrong, and I told her. It was… like taking a breath for the first time in ages.”

Raphael nodded understandingly.

“I couldn’t bring myself to tell Alec, was scared of how he’d react,” Magnus sucked his teeth, lifting his head. “I kept it to myself until I turned sixteen. Came out to everyone at once using a custom-made t-shirt” his laugh was gravelly, sad. Enough to make Raphael stand up and walk over to where he sat, taking a seat beside him. “I knew some people would be against it, it was a consequence my mum and I were both willing to accept. But then Alec drifted away. And that, _that_ wasn’t something I could bear. Not him.”

Sidling closer until their shoulders were brushing, Raphael tried offering his silent comfort.

“I remember forcing myself to go to school. Every. _Single._ Day. Feeling like a social pariah, being treated like one, for so long I felt like I was suffocating” Magnus took a deep breath, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. “Alec did come to me at some point, after I was hit on the head with a basketball. He tried to justify himself, but I left him before he had the chance to.

“Then we moved. Haven’t seen him in nearly a decade. And now, well…” he trailed off, waving at his surroundings. “Here we are.”

Raphael cleared his throat, then pushed his shoulder into Magnus’. “Look to the bright side, you have me.” He snorted a second after he said it, making Magnus turn to regard him with fond distaste. 

“That’s the dimmest side of all this” he retorted, then nudged him back. “Now, go back to being your austere self.” 

Raphael straightened his back, nodding tersely. Then the bell rang, and he stood up to open the door for Ragnor and Catarina with a stiff ‘you’re late’.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“You okay?”

Alec hummed a ‘mmhm’ against the rim of his mug, looking at Jace over its lip. He took his time swallowing the warm gulp, collecting his thoughts before he quietly set the mug back down on the table. “Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, not daring to look at Jace in trepidation of what he’ll find there. He didn’t need anything to call his denial into question. Not now at least. 

“Oh, nothing,” Jace waved a hand, half-flippant, “just that you’re still wearing the ring though there’s no one else around” he went on, sceptical eyes not leaving Alec in case his words cause a crack in his brother’s veneer. 

Taken aback, and with a brief glance in Jace’s direction, Alec wiggled in his place, adjusting his position. His eyes began scudding over the words in speedy apprehension, but he didn’t understand a thing he was reading. “Gotta be cautious” he said after a moment of utter silence. _Weak._ He licked over his smirk and looked up at Jace through teasing eyes. “Besides, there’s no harm in teasing my little brother with the ring his girlfriend should be wearing, huh?”

Jace huffed, rolling his eyes with a toothy smile. “I don’t care about that” he said, accentuating the statement with a casual shrug. “It looks good on you anyway. Blue was always your colour.”

Smiling, Alec put his book down to look at his hand from a fair distance. He tilted his head, giving an exaggerated hum of agreement with a contemplative pout. “It really is” he concurred.

“Now tell me” Jace clapped his hands once to grasp Alec’s attention. “How are things with Magnus?”

“The way they’re supposed to be” Alec responded, ignoring the stumbling beat of his heart. “He’s acting like my fiancé and I’m paying him. That’s all there is to it.” 

Jace nodded, slow and appraising. “Uh-huh… is that why you’re blushing?”

“I’m not blushing” Alec snapped, defensive. He turned a glare on Jace, hoping that would wither all his unnecessary commentary. “Your nosiness is riling me and I’m making a good job of controlling myself. Forgive me for turning red in the process.”

“Annnnd you’re rambling” Jace chuckled, standing up to check on the food. He stopped just in front of Alec. “You know, I don’t know what’s going on between you two. And I won’t push, but you need to figure stuff out. Don’t,” he lifted a finger when Alec started to protest, “deny it. You can fool mom, you can fool dad. God, you can fool yourself. But not me, buddy. Not me.” He left the room with a pat to Alec’s shoulder. 

Alec huffed, reopening his book to pick up where he left off.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec’s phone was on the verge of breaking in his tight grip. He was walking back and forth, boiling with nerves and rumination. He hadn’t spoken to his mother ever since their trip back from Iceland. A formal goodbye and a kiss to the air beside his cheek. He couldn’t just call her and tell her Robert was cheating. Couldn’t drop the news like that with absolutely no word in two weeks.

He took a deep breath, sliding his phone open to call his father. He’d hoped Robert would’ve taken things into his own hands and told her himself but judging by the lack of gossip in their _very gossipy family_ , it was impossible for him to have confronted her with the truth. 

The line was silent for a second, then two beeps came before his father declined the call. And that was enough evidence that he still hadn’t picked up the courage to tell Maryse the truth. 

So, Alec decided to take charge, opening the group chat Max had made for the Lightwood siblings. He sent a brusque _‘family meeting at seven.’_

 

**Isabelle: hello to you too, big bro. I’m great, thank you for asking, what about you?**

 

**Max: did alec just… send his first msg to the group? the apocalypse is near.**

 

**Jace: 2 lazy, drive me.**

 

Alec found himself smiling despite the circumstances, shutting his phone off and sliding it into his back pocket.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“So, brother dearest, why did you call us here?” Izzy asked, plopping down on the couch. Her curls bounced with the act, a toothy smile wide on her face as she looked at Alec expectantly. 

“And isn’t dad a part of the family anymore?” Max asked, sliding his headphones off and letting them fall to his shoulders. He tucked his hair behind his ears, falling down beside Isabelle. 

Maryse sat down in the arm chair, hands interlaced on her lap. Jace sat down on the armrest of Izzy and Max’s couch, gesturing for Alec to speak.

Alec opened his mouth for a second, then shut it, letting his hands meet at the small of his back. He rubbed at them anxiously, not knowing what to say, then took a deep breath and let out a ‘dad’s cheating’ on the exhalation. 

The silence hot on the heel of his announcement was everything but surprised. Izzy and Max both glanced at Maryse, whose expression remained stern as she looked at Alec. 

And Alec had to press his lips together to stop them from trembling. He took another breath, deep and shaky. Then another, and another. The silence extended further, and realisation dawned on Alec like a bucket of water. He gave a quivering smile and looked between his mother and siblings. “You already knew” he said, voice scarcely a decibel above a whisper. “Didn’t you?” It was rhetorical but there was no harm in hoping… right?

“Alec” Izzy stood up and took a step towards him. Alec reciprocated with a backwards step of his own. “Alec, let’s jus–”

Alec ignored her, looking at Max. “You knew too?” he asked.

Max didn’t say anything, only fiddled with his phone, eyes fixed on its blank screen. Alec turned to his mother silently. She pursed her lips further. “I’ve known for a while.”

Alec nodded, painful understanding travelling through him. “Right” he exhaled. Then looked at Jace, expecting another guilty face layered with fake sympathy. Instead, Jace had slumped, staring at nothing. “And you?” 

Without a single word, Jace stood up and walked off, front door clicking shut on his way out. Alec turned to the rest of his family, eyes zeroing in on Maryse. “Not telling me, that I can understand. But stop acting like Jace’s a part of the family if you’re going to keep treating him like a foundling. You’re no better than Robert.” He snatched his jacket off the back of a chair and followed after his brother with a loud slam of the door.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec had known Jace for over half his life. He’d seen him at his smuggest, at his angriest, happiest, cheekiest. But to see him staring impassively at the TV screen, his clenched jaw and tight grip on the remote the only things damming up the tears building up in his eyes… that was something Alec hoped he never sees again. 

Quietly, Alec walked over to where he sat and dropped down beside him. “You okay?” he asked. He knew Jace wasn’t, he also knew that if he didn’t get him to talk soon, Jace’s feelings will end up gnawing themselves out.

“Yeah” Jace rasped, unmoving. 

Alec stayed silent for just a little longer before he extended an arm and gripped the nape of Jace’s neck, pulling him in for a hug. Jace’s reaction was instant, like he was just waiting for any incentive to let go. He held onto the back of Alec’s shirt tightly, sobbing into his shoulder. Alec could feel his brother’s tears soaking up his shirt and with rekindled strength, he pulled him even closer, rubbing a hand over his back in comforting circles as he tilted his head against his. “I’ve got you. You’re okay” he said quietly.

Eventually, they pulled apart and Jace sniffled, wiping his sleeve over his nose. “Sorry for getting your shirt all yucky” he apologised through teary laughter. 

Alec looked at his shoulder, then back at Jace. “All the more reason for me to do the laundry tomorrow” he grinned. “You feeling better?”

“Yeah” Jace heaved, “yeah, thanks.”

“You’re my brother. Don’t mention it” Alec replied, smiling lopsidedly. He hoped the label didn’t go unheard. “Go get some sleep, the dishes can wait till tomorrow.”

Jace stood up, stretching his limbs and wiping his hands beneath his eyes.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec didn’t know where he was going, only that he needed some fresh air. Needed to clear his head. Needed to get away. Needed to start an entire new life away from the toxicity of his family. 

He ended up wherever his latent want for comfort led him, which happened to be just outside Magnus’ door. He could hear the low playing of a piano from inside, slow and grave. It sent shivers crawling up his spine.

He took one more step closer to get a better hearing, then paused in horror when the light overhead illuminated brightly. 

The music came to an abrupt stop and a moment later, the door swung open and Alec looked up, eyes widening.

“I knew it was a lovely idea to automate the porch light,” Magnus said in lieu of a greeting. The gentle smile on his lips suggested he wasn’t as annoyed as Alec thought him to be, “although I was hoping it would deter burglars, not welcome my sneaky fiancé.”

Alec played with the cuff of his leather jacket, unable to react to the playfulness of Magnus’ words. 

“Alexander? What’s wrong?” Magnus hesitated between stepping back to let the other in and stepping out to join him in the cold weather. He settled on staying in place. 

Alec let his hand swing to a stop at his side, his lips pressed together tightly. Magnus took a step outside and placed both hands on Alec’s shoulders, hoping that would be enough to ground him. It had the opposite effect as Alec crumbled under the touch, shoulders slouching. His eyes fell shut and he choked back a pained sob. Magnus shook his head lightly, expression honed with concern, and without further spur, he guided Alec inside, kicking the door shut after them.


	8. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've fallen behind in replying to comments but I'll find time asap <3
> 
> trigger warning for this chapter, mention of animal cruelty (I'll asterisk the beginning and ending for those who wish to skip)

As he trod into Magnus’ sitting room, Alec came to his senses, took in his surroundings, and suddenly felt even worse than he had before. His relationship with Magnus was _fake. Is_ fake. He didn’t have a right over his time, he paid him to pretend, not to comfort, not to be an escape from everything wrong going on in his life. 

Swallowing, Alec came to an abrupt stop, shoulders still taut and eyes heavy with exhaustion. “Oh, don’t die on me just yet” Magnus said airily, “the couch is right there.”

Alec inhaled deeply, eyes falling shut before he turned to Magnus, whose hand hasn’t left the small of his back, keeping him firm on his feet. “I shouldn’t have come here” he sounded defeated, the words foreign to his own ears. 

“Well,” Magnus pushed gently on his back, “you’re already here, no time for regrets. Sit down, let me get you something to drink.”

Alec managed a smile, tight and lopsided but thankful nonetheless. He sat down on the couch, rasping out a ‘hi’ at the cat curled up just beside him. Magnus watched him as he lifted a hand, patting the Chairman on the head twice before clasping his hands on his lap timidly. 

He found himself smiling despite himself, then left for the kitchen to fetch him a drink. He returned with a mug of steaming hot cocoa, and Alec took it without hesitation, clasping it in both hands and staring into it, at the scoop of chocolate chip mint ice-cream melting in its warmth. He didn’t drink though, using it as a hand-warmer instead.

“The Chairman likes you” Magnus stated, in time with Alec’s “I’m sorry for coming here without permission.”

Magnus pressed his lips together but didn’t say anything. He didn’t mind Alec’s presence, not in the least, but he knew Alec. Knew he had a constant itch to apologise even when it wasn’t his fault. Even when there was nothing to apologise for. Magnus assumed it had something to do with the toxic environment he’d grown up in. 

“For coming at all. It’s late and–”

“And I wasn’t sleeping” Magnus interrupted, sitting down on the coffee table in front of the sofa Alec had taken a seat on. “No harm done, dear.”

Alec licked his lips, leg bouncing as he paid the room a half-hearted look. “You play?” he asked once his eyes sought the piano. It wasn’t his best way to impede the inevitable question of _what brought you here, Alec?_ , but Magnus didn’t seem to be in a hurry, glancing over his shoulder before settling his eyes back on Alec. “I dabble” he said, shrugging a shoulder. 

Alec smiled, genuine this time. “Humility doesn’t suit you, Magnus” he said, chuckling softly when Magnus tipped his head back, laughing openly and freely and so beautifully that Alec couldn’t not join in. 

Alec lifted the mug to his lips, sipping. The burn of the drink against his taste buds managed to alleviate the ache in his chest. And the moment Magnus noticed, watching him intently, Alec felt exposed, putting the mug down as fast as he could before drawing his hands back to his lap. 

Magnus glanced away, throat bobbing. 

Chairman Meow slunk over to Alec and climbed onto his lap, kneading it. Magnus could hear his claws tearing threads out of Alec’s jeans, but Alec didn’t seem to mind, smiling at the feline with apparent affection. The Chairman made three circles before curling up, covering his face with a paw and shutting his eyes. 

“He likes you” Magnus’ eyes didn’t leave his cat as he repeated his earlier words, head tilting a little to the side. 

“I like him too” Alec answered, lifting a hesitant hand to run his fingers through the cat’s fur. 

“Are you saying that so I don’t sue you for a breach of contract?” Magnus countered playfully. It pulled a laugh from Alec, who shook his head lightly and looked up at Magnus through tired eyes. 

“I’d sue you right back, _dear_ ” he retorted, calling back the endearment Magnus had used not fifteen minutes ago. Magnus rolled his eyes, looking away with a small shake of his head. 

Eventually, he gathered his strength to look back at Alec, who seemed lost in thought. “Do you want to talk about what prompted this visit or…?” he didn’t want to push, and going by the sudden solemnness on Alec’s face, it didn’t seem to be something Alec wished to speak about. 

Magnus rose to his feet and closed the distance between them, sitting beside Alec in silence. It was a soundless offer of comfort that he knew wasn’t enough. Alec’s hand sank into the Chairman’s fur, making the cat purr contentedly. He hoped it would make up for the incessant shaking of his leg. He couldn’t bring himself to stop it.

After some time, Chairman got up, stretching as he shook the sleep from his dishevelled fur, then scampered off to get his fill of dry food, leaving Magnus and Alec to choke on their own tension.

“Remember when we were kids,” Magnus wasn’t looking at Alec, but he could sense the smile in his words. “When we would band-aid everything that hurt.”

Magnus’ laugh was immediate and unrestrained, wrenched from his chest, like he hadn’t expected that memory in particular. “How could I forget? I got yelled at for stealing mother’s first aid kit.”

Alec’s shoulders shook as he dissolved into fits after fits of laughter. Magnus couldn’t remember the last time he saw him laughing like that.

“I remember when your pet hamster passed away and I asked you where you were hurting” Alec said after quieting his chuckles. “You told me your heart hurt so I plastered your chest.”

It was meant to be funny, they both knew, but neither of them could spare the memory a laugh. 

“We grew out of it,” Magnus said, taking a deep breath and gulping down the lump in his throat. “Found other ways to comfort each other.” There was an invitation in the memory, one that didn’t go unheard by Alec, who didn’t say anything for some time before he quietly lay on his side, resting his head on Magnus’ lap. 

Magnus let out a breath, bringing his hand up to stroke his fingers through Alec’s hair. Alec’s eyes drifted shut, and if Magnus saw the single crystalline tear he let loose, he showed no sign of it.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“It’s late.”

“You snore.”

Alec huffed at the abrupt change of subject, stepping out into the crispy winter air. The light above flickered on, but he didn’t pay it any mind, walking until he was standing abreast of Magnus. The porch was beautiful, decorated with various plants and an exotic array of colourful flowers. “Gladiolus” he said, as if it were a greeting. 

“Strength” Magnus responded. “They symbolise strength.”

Alec lifted his brows in faux enlightenment, acting like he hadn’t already looked it up. “And those?” there were three egg-shaped decorations at the foot of the porch stairs. Jade green, sapphire blue and ruby red. 

“Dragon eggs” Magnus sounded demure at the admission, his cheeks flushing a light shade of pink when Alec snorted. 

“Dragon eggs?” Alec echoed. “Do you think they’ll hatch in this weather?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Don’t humour me, Alexander. They’re not actually dragons” he lifted his glass to his lips and swallowed a mouthful of it. “Why are you up?”

“Your cat knocked over a pot,” Alec paused, “my best guess is that it had fairy-dust or–”

 _“Alexander”_ Magnus said pointedly, chiding in the tone he used. It made Alec lift his hands in surrender before he leant forward, bracing his forearms on the wooden bannister. “Ready to uncork that brimming bottle of feelings?” Magnus asked, mild in manner.

It made Alec smile. “Why? So you can pity me?”

“No,” Magnus drawled, “so I can take a dig at your family. You know it’s my favourite thing to do in my free time.”

It was a cheeky excuse to veil the actual reason he wanted Alec to talk, which was to unwind. Alec easily saw through Magnus’ words, squinting a sceptical eye at him.

“Fine!” Magnus exclaimed, “you just remind me of this frog that died in my first year of university.”

Alec stared, dumbfounded. “I– what?”

Magnus turned around to lean back against the balustrade evasively. “In my first year of biology, we had to conduct this experiment on a frog.”

Alec nodded, not sure where Magnus was going with this. 

*** “Frogs can adjust their temperature to fit their surroundings,” Magnus ran a hand up his arm, the cold now getting to him. “We put a frog in water and began to gradually heat it up. To observe the way it adapted.” 

Alec wanted to protest, say that it was animal cruelty, but Magnus spoke before he could. “It was an experiment, Alexander. Biology isn’t a field for kind hearts.”

Alec silenced himself, scowling. 

“I’m going to spare you the details, but cold-blooded creatures in general have the ability to accommodate. Until they don’t. Once the water was at boiling point, the frog attempted to jump out, unable to adjust much longer. But it’d exhausted itself trying to regulate its temperature that it didn’t have the energy to save itself.”

***

Alec swallowed, clenching his hands into fists. 

“It’s the same with humans, you in particular, and looking to belong.”

“So first you call me a frog and now I’m going to die if I don’t stop trying to blend in? You really put Schopenhauer’s pessimism to shame, Magnus” Alec grinned at his own joke, turning to find Magnus looking at him with an unimpressed look on his face. “Ok, look. I told the family about Robert, and it turned out they already knew, that’s all.”

Magnus’ expression softened in an instant.

“And that’s why I didn’t want to tell you,” Alec waved a hand at Magnus, “you’re pitying me.”

“I’m not” Magnus rebutted simply, “there’s a vast difference between pity and empathy, Alexander.”

Alec sighed, hanging his head. “I know but…” he began shaking his leg, a nervous tic Magnus had begun getting used to. “I know, but I’m not used to…this” he gestured between the two of them. 

“Me?” Magnus tilted his head. “I’m quite a lot to get used to.” 

“No. Not you. I’m used to you. I mean... the feelings stuff.”

Magnus chuckled. “The _feelings stuff?_ ” he echoed amusedly.

“You know what I mean” Alec groaned, rubbing a hand over his too-grown-to-be-called-stubble stubble. 

“Alexander.”

“How’s Miss. Bane?” Alec interrupted, scurrying to divert the attention from himself. It made Magnus sigh and shake his head. 

“She’s fine. She has a bakery just around the corner from here” he answered. “And she wants to see you. Been asking about you since I told her we were engaged.”

Alec’s eyes bugged. “You _what?_ ”

“Oh, please” Magnus waved a hand, “she’s been pushing me to settle down ever since I bought a house in L.A.”

“So I didn’t have to pay you?” Alec questioned after a second, “you used me as a stone for two birds!”

Magnus grinned wolfishly, pleased with himself. “And now that she knows _you’re_ my fiancé, she’s been pushing me to invite you over.”

“I’d like that” Alec said after a moment, ignoring the warmth blooming in his chest. “Yeah. Her martabak was the best.”

“Marvellous,” Magnus grinned. “Now, Let’s get some sleep” Magnus nodded his head to the side, then walked away, stopping at the threshold to look back at Alec. “And Alexander?”

“Mm?”

“Trying to fit in won’t do you much good. People will leave you for it, and believe me, I’ve experienced it first-hand,” it wasn’t meant as an oblique attack on Alec, Alec knew that, but he felt the blow all the same, bowing his head with a grimace. “But it’s worth it, Alexander. Every dirty look and every snarky comment’s worth it if it means you don’t find difficulty wearing your own skin.”

Alec looked ahead, eyes sheening with tears he knew he’ll be shedding in the seclusion of an empty room. 

“It’s worth it if it means you’ve come to accept yourself.”

Alec swallowed around an unsought answer before settling on a small ‘good night, Magnus’.

Without replying, Magnus returned to the cosiness of his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably the shortest chapter yet but the next will def be longer. thanks for reading. :)


	9. IX

Alec was so keyed up the next day he could barely concentrate on the email he was supposed to have sent the night before. Eventually, he just saved it to his drafts and decided to proofread it when dinner with Magnus’ mother was done.

Thing is, he knew Ms. Bane. She was like his second mother when he was younger. Scratch that, she was like his motherly mother. She used to make snacks during his sleepovers with Magnus. She used to drive them to school, kiss Alec’s cheek in greeting, buy him birthday presents. For god's sake, she was his confidante back then. He used to go to her when he got a mediocre mark in something and didn't know how to broach the subject with his mother. He shouldn’t feel as anxious as he was right now.

“Jace,” he stepped out of his room, holding up two ties. Jace’s name left his mouth in a heave, quickly grabbing the blond’s attention. “Which one?”

Jace arched a brow, sparing the neckwear two brief glances before settling his eyes on Alec. “Job interview?”

“No” Alec answered, opening his mouth to elaborate. Then he decided against it, knowing that Jace would never let him live this one down if he were to tell him he’s going to meet Magnus’ mum. “Just tell me which is better.”

Jace hummed indecisively, looking between the two. “The plain one” he nodded his chin at the plain black tie.

Alec looked at it, brows furrowed as though he was seeing it in a new light, then he wrapped it around his neck and began tying it with shaky hands. It made Jace roll his eyes, exaggeratedly throwing his phone aside. He stood up and walked over, stopping in front of Alec and smacking his hand away. “What’s got you so...” he paused, eyes flickering up to his brother’s face, “het up?”

With a grimace of distaste, Alec shook his head. “Don't—” he frowned, “don't use heterosexual puns, or whatever, on me.”

Jace chuckled, patting Alec's shirt down. He straightened out the straps of his suspenders and stepped back. “You shaved” he noted, a brow lifting in silent query.

After a few seconds of intense glare battling, Alec relented. “Ok. Fine. I’m meeting Magnus' mom.”

The curiosity on Jace’s face disappeared within the span of a blink, replaced with so much smugness that Alec lifted a threatening finger. “One word, Jace,” he gritted, “say _one_ word.”

Jace stepped further back, lifting his hands in surrender. “I’m shutting up, buddy” he said, and although he didn’t  _say_  anything, he didn’t need to. Not with the way he was smirking, words dripping amusement.

Alec huffed, shrugging on his blazer. “I’ll be back before twelve. And I don’t know where my keys are so open the door for me, yeah?” He pocketed his phone and took a deep, steeling breath, straightening his back.

Jace gave a half-hummed laugh. “I doubt you'll be coming back tonight at all” he murmured under his breath. He got smacked upside the head a moment later and a laugh rolled out of him.

“Have fun!” He yelled out after Alec. “Stay safe! And I don’t mean—”

 _“Jace!”_  Alec shouted in interruption. “One more word.”

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“You’re radiating nerves, Alexander” Magnus sighed, no actual reprimand in his statement. “We can go back if you want. She wouldn’t mind.”

Alec shook his head lightly, adjusting his blazer. He rolled his shoulders back, lifting his head. “It's just been so long” he said, mostly to himself, then turned to counter the uncertainty on Magnus’ face with the assurance on his.

Magnus caved under his gaze and turned to face the door, then pressed a burgundy-tipped finger against the doorbell.

It took everything in Alec’s might not to reach for Magnus’ hand in seeking of strength. When the door opened, he found himself holding up the plastic bag in his hand, so quick it had Ms. Bane stepping back with an ‘‘oh!’’ of surprise. “Baklava” he stated, “Turkish dessert.”

Magnus covered his half-subdued laugh with his fist, but Ms. Bane didn’t even come close to embarrassing Alec, taking the plastic bag with a wide smile. “Oh, look at you” she whispered wondrously, taking his hands in hers and lifting them to look him over.

Stepping closer, Alec took one of her hands and touched his forehead to the back of it. “Selamat, Ms. Bane” he greeted quietly, and even when he let go of her hand, he kept his head bowed in respect.

She cooed at his gentleman manners, eyes tearing. “Look at you!” She repeated, taking him down into a hug too informal in contrast to his own greeting.

Magnus stood in awe, eyes molten with the adoration he couldn't find the strength to hide.

Alec hugged back gently, ignoring the vast height difference as he laughed. “You haven’t aged a day, Ms. Bane.”

“Indah” she huffed, annoyed with his formality. “Oh, you have. So well” she pulled back again, hands still cupping his elbows. “All grown up and  _tall_ ,” she paused, giving Magnus a look before turning her head back to the man in front of her. “Magnus always liked them tall.” the words were uttered in a stage whisper that had Magnus grunting and Alec’s complacency taking the best of him, eyes turning to Magnus in amusement. “Oh, really now? He never told me, always said my personality was what charmed him” he said. Magnus pursed his lips, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You're really self-satisfied for someone who blushes at any compliment, Alexander.”

Alec chuckled and looked back at Indah. “It's great to see you again.”

“Oh, tell me about it. Come on in, let's get you two warm. Oh, lord. I smell… something burning.” she left them at the door, scurrying to the kitchen as fast as her feet could take her with muttered Indonesian that Alec suspected weren't very appropriate.

Alec held an arm out, gesturing for Magnus to go in first, and Magnus gave him a doubtful look as he strode past him, eyes not once leaving him. It made Alec chuckle to himself, stepping in after him. He stopped just inside, toeing his shoes off.

“Alec—” Magnus cut himself short, eyes dropping to where Alec was kicking his shoes against the wall. “Are you trying to gain mother's favour?” 

Alec's lips parted, cheeks flushing in an instant. “That's—” he said, “I just— I don't want to disrespect— I googled Indonesian etiquette and it said I have to take my shoes off and—”

Magnus' smile cut him short and he quickly looked away, puffing his cheeks.

“The least you could've done was wear matching socks, darling” Magnus teased after a second. Alec turned to glare at him.

“It's not really easy to find matching socks when you have a roommate like Jace, _darling_ ” he retaliated.

“Look at you two, already bickering like an old couple” Indah was just passing by, apparently to set the table up.

“I'll do that!” Alec called out, scurrying to help her.

“You _are_ trying to gain her favour!” Magnus called after him in a hissed whisper.

Alec gave him a look over his shoulder. “I never said I wasn't.”

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“So, tell me. Have you two set a date? Are you moving to L.A. with Magnus?” Indah took a spoonful of food, eyes not leaving her son and his fiancé. “Magnus’ house here is a little small if you ask me. Especially if you want little ones.”

Magnus coughed into his wine, putting it down a moment later. _“Mother”_ he said sharply.

 _“What?”_ Indah exclaimed. “Forgive me for wanting grandchildren.”

Alec chuckled quietly. “Oh, we already have three. Waiting to hatch at the foot of Magnus’ porch.”

Magnus gritted his teeth before scowling cutely with a heavy breath out from his nose. Indah didn’t know what was going on, but the scene before her was enough to have her giggling.

“We’ve been engaged for less than half a year and I already want a divorce.”

Alec laughed out loud, leaning over to press a kiss to Magnus’ temple. “You know I tease you out of love.”

Magnus could swear his heart stopped beating for a second, whether it was at the brush of Alec’s lips against his skin or the word he dared utter, he didn’t know. Indah didn’t seem to notice though, prattling on about young love and how it’s always built on playfulness and trust.

Alec remained mostly quiet till they finished eating. Somewhere in the middle of it, he received a text from Jace,  _ur teeth are 2 weak 2 rip a condom open. thank me l8r. or buy me smn bc im starvin_

Concluding that Jace was probably drunk texting — although there was no way to know with slang as bad as his — Alec clicked his phone off and slid it into his pocket. He heard a small  _clink_  and furrowed his brows. Then his cheeks turned a bright shade of red when he realised there was a foldable scissors in the pocket of his trousers.

He cleared his throat and finished off his food soundlessly.

“What’s the sound?” Magnus asked suddenly, looking around with inquisitive eyes.

“Oh, that’s nothing. The washing machine has turned to a load of crap over the past three years” Indah dismissed with a wave of her hand.

“I can fix that” Magnus wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up.

“I’ll help you clean up” Alec stood, piling the plates atop each other.

“You’re spoiling me, you two” Indah’s laugh was gentle, an edge of the dramatisation Magnus had inherited from her clear in her tone.

Magnus circled the table and pressed a brief kiss to the top of her head before rolling his sleeves up to get to work. Alec tried not to let his eyes linger too long on the exposed skin, finally tearing his gaze away to avoid smashing any glassware.

In the kitchen, he gave the dishes quick rinses and put them in the dishwasher, deliberately sifting through ways to open a conversation with Magnus’ mother, who was putting the leftovers in the fridge.

“You went quiet on us” Indah said, cheerful and mild.

Alec took a deep breath, closing the dishwasher door, then pressed down on the power button. He turned to her with the smallest of smiles. “I’m sorry” he said, and going by the confused look on her face, she knew he wasn’t apologising for his quietude. “For how my mom treated you when Magnus came out. And for not— standing up for you.” The  _for cutting Magnus off_  was inbetween the lines somewhere, not lost on Indah.

“Oh, you sweet thing, don’t blame yourself” her voice didn’t lose its gentleness, which only made Alec more nostalgic for the kindness of his own mother. “You were young. And you were confused.”

Alec stilled. “Confused?” He echoed, lifting a quizzical brow.

“I’ve known you since you were a child” Indah used a hand to indicate the height of a four year old. “And I saw the way you used to look at my boy.”

Alec swallowed, gut twisting into knots.

“I—” he placed his hands on the edge of the sink behind him, leaning back.

“Oh, don’t explain yourself” Indah chuckled. “You have him now. He loves you back.”

Alec couldn’t find the right words, didn’t know how to tell her to keep it between the two of them without raising her suspicion. He licked his lips, then parted them as he looked away.

“Done!” Magnus proclaimed, strolling into the kitchen with his characteristic grace. “Are you two gossiping about me?”

“Yes” Alec said quickly before Indah could unintentionally expose him. “I was telling her you speak to the eggs.”

“Blot it out, Alexander!”

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“Why don’t you study to be a social worker?” Alec was surprised that Magnus was trying to initiate small talk. They were walking side by side, have been for at least fifteen minutes with no words said other than an “I’ll walk you home” from Magnus.

“Yeah, no. I got a bachelor’s degree in civil engineering technology. Not in sociology or anything of that sort” Alec shrugged, looking ahead.

“So? You’re a smart man, Alexander. You could skip straight to the master’s. Two years. Then you can do what you want.”

Alec looked like he wanted to find another excuse not to do it, but instead, he turned to look at Magnus with a smile. “You think I’m smart?” It was just an attempt to shift the attention away from his dream job.

“No,” Magnus answered, then bumped his shoulder into Alec’s when Alec looked away timidly, smile unbudging. “I  _know_  you’re smart.”

Alec’s grin widened, making his eyes crease at the sides. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Alec noticed the way Magnus drew his shoulders up, clenching his jaw to curb the clattering of his teeth and without thinking, he shrugged his blazer off and draped it over his shoulders. “Not the right clothes for a weather like this, Magnus” he chastised.

Magnus sighed, holding the blazer tighter. “The things I do for the sake of fashion.”

“Maybe button the shirt up?” Alec offered.

Magnus pouted, looking down at said shirt. “The rest of the buttons are just a design” he muttered.

It took Alec a lot of inner dialogue to talk himself into looking away from Magnus’ pout. Then he took a hold of Magnus’ arm, making him turn to face him. He reached for the foldable scissors in the pocket of his trousers and put it between his lips.

“Should I be concerned as to why you carry a pair of scissors around?” Magnus squinted an eye.

Alec chuckled around the metal, eyes flickering up to Magnus’ face before dropping down to his shirt. “Emergencies” he muffled around the steel.

He folded a piece of Magnus’ shirt and pulled the scissors out to make a small, neat cut that drew a loud, horrified gasp from Magnus, too theatrical to be genuinely offended.

Alec’s fingers kept grazing Magnus’ skin, warm in contrast. It made goosebumps rise on his covered arms and Magnus’ exposed chest. Alec didn’t pay it any mind, blaming it on the glacial weather.

After a few minutes, he pulled away, slipping the scissors back into his trousers before lifting the blazer off Magnus’ shoulders to let him wear it properly.

He stepped back, breath rushing out of him when he noticed how tight it was at the arms. “You look…”

“Ridiculous?”

“I was going for breathtaking” the word slipped out before Alec could double-check it. “I.. I’m still in character” he laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head.

Magnus kept his eyes on him, but said nothing.

“You do— by the way. Look breathtaking” Alec said after a moment, pinning his boldness on the wine he’d had despite knowing it was the truth. He waited for Magnus’ reaction with bated breath. Then,

“I know.”

Alec huffed. “Egomaniac.”

“You love it.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“Magnus—”

“Yes?”

“I do.”

Magnus fell silent, a muscle in his jaw feathering as he looked at Alec. He then turned and began walking again.

Alec inhaled shakily, swallowing to steel himself. He followed after him until they were walking abreast again.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“This is my stop. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” Alec stopped just outside his building. “I’ll get my keys, it’ll only take a minute.”

“You think I can’t handle myself?” Magnus arched a brow.

“No. I mean yes. No. You _can_ handle yourself but—”  _but what?_  “I want to say hi to the ki—” before he could finish off, Magnus punched him in the shoulder benignly.

“Stop that.”

Alec closed his mouth on his laugh, lips pressed together tightly.

“So, I guess I’ll see you soon?” Magnus asked, inclining his head.

“Yeah” Alec answered. He bit down on his lip.

“Suspenders suit you” Magnus opined, lifting a hand to grip one of the straps between two fingers. He pulled at it then let it snap back into place.

Alec’s cheeks flushed at the compliment. “Thank you” he said, “my blazer suits you.”

Realisation crossed Magnus’ features and he moved to take it off but Alec’s hands stopped him, resting on top of his. “No, keep it” he said, “it’s cold. You can give it back to me next time.”  _Or never. My clothes suit you._

Magnus let his hands fall to his sides and Alec pulled his own back.

“You should get going” Magnus stated, nodding his chin at the building standing behind Alec.

“I should” Alec answered. “Text me when you’re home?”

“I will.”

And again, neither of them moved. Not until Alec stepped closer and leant down to press a kiss to Magnus’ cheek, soft and lingering.

Magnus’ eyes fluttered shut at the graze of his soft lips. And no matter how professional they were supposed to be, he couldn’t help but feel like that was the missing piece of their parting.

“Good night” Alec whispered. He didn’t stay long enough to hear Magnus’ reciprocal farewell, turning around and fleeing into the building.

“Idiot” Magnus muttered under his breath, fond and maybe a little dreamy.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec slammed the door shut and stormed into the living room, Jace on his heel.

He began pacing back and forth, running his fingers through his hair.

“You totally banged” Jace stated, throwing himself on the couch clumsily. “Did the scissors come in handy? I can see you trying to cut the packet open in your hurry to—”

“Should I be weirded out?” Alec stopped his pacing to turn to Jace. “Imagining your bro in a sexual situation does kinda raise concerns.”

Jace laughed. “You’re too celibate to be imagined in a sexual situation, bud” he paused, “did y’all fuck?”

“No!” Alec shouted. “No, I—”

“You?”

“He walked me home. I kissed his cheek” the last statement left him in a meek mumble. But it was enough for Jace’s face to split into an askew grin.

“And? Tell me more. Where’s your jacket?” He paused, “you didn’t leave my Condom Peeler in it, did you?”

Alec rubbed at his face. “Don’t call it that” he groaned. “You’re disgusting.”

“Disgusting—ly handsome” Jace wasn’t sympathising at all. “Look, did he push you away?”

“No.”

“It’s settled. He was okay with it. Where’s the problem?”

“Well, the problem is that we’re supposed to be  _professional_ ” Alec snapped, hoping his tone will have an effect on the aloof blond enjoying the calamity he was in. It had the absolute opposite effect as Jace clapped his hands gleefully, head thrown back like Alec just cracked the joke of the century.

“You two stopped being professional the second you decided to be professional” he snickered, standing up to pat Alec’s face in forged pity.

Alec slapped his hand off.

“Oh, and mom called” Jace said on his way to the kitchen, “wanted to talk to you.”

Alec was reminded of the wistfulness he felt when he was speaking to Ms. Bane. She was the closest he’d had to a mother ever since the first year of university.

“I’ll call her later” he said, voice remarkably lower that Jace stopped just at the door of the kitchen.

“Hey, Alec?”

“What?”

“My shoulders are comfy” Jace grinned. “And I give great hugs.”

Alec rolled his eyes with a shake of his head, wandering off to his room.

“Magnus is one lucky person!” Jace called out after him.

“Wish I could say the same about Fairchild!” Alec called back, clicking the door shut behind him.

Once he was done getting ready for bed, he opened his phone, smiling at the simple text Magnus had sent.

 ** _Magnus:_**   _I’m home. The kids say good night. As do I._

 ** _Alexander:_**   _I knew you spoke to the eggs. good night._


	10. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings for this chapter, racism, stereotypical biphobia and implied physical abuse.
> 
> **_____**

“You’re thinking too loudly.”

Alec’s knuckles had turned white, the grip on his pencil incredibly tight. His brows were drawn together as he sketched the main outline of a recent project. He could’ve gone straight for AutoCAD like he usually did, but something about the ache he got from drawing for too long was grounding. “Then go back to your video games” he muttered in response.

Jace didn’t say anything for a long moment, not until the tip of Alec’s pencil broke and he abruptly let go of it, heaving a breath. “You ok, bud?”

“I’m fine, Jace” Alec snapped. Then he huffed a breath and sat back, lifting a hand to rub over his stubble. He could feel Jace’s gaze on him, following each move he made.

“You thinking about the weekend dinner?” Jace asked.

“No.” He wasn’t. he forgot about it altogether. “Drop it.”

“Mom? Magnus?”

“No. Yes. No. I’m just – there’s something Magnus said…” Alec ran his fingers through his unruly hair. “About my job.”

Jace sat up, leaning forward with his elbows on his lap. “What about it?” he asked, concern visible in the way he knitted his brows.

“Remember when we were on vacation and we played that game?” Alec asked abruptly. “When Clary asked what my job was and...”

“And Magnus said you always wanted to be a social worker, yeah” Jace nodded, not really catching on.

“So, Magnus told me I could do that. If I get my master’s in sociology or psychology or something along those lines that can qualify me enough to be a social worker” Alec grasped his opposite hand, rubbing a thumb over the centre of his palm. “I looked it up and apparently it’s a thing.”

Jace’s expression shifted in a second, concern melting into a wide, toothy smile. “Alec, that’s great.”

Alec looked up at him. “You think?”

“Yeah. I mean, you could continue working in your field and study your masters at the same time. You’re a smart man, dude.” That was the second time Alec had had someone call him smart in the past week. It managed to ease his worries a little.

He didn’t say anything though, picking up another pencil. This time, when he began drawing, he seemed less on edge.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“I don’t– remind me, darlings, why am I friends with you?”

Catarina slung her scrubs over the back of the couch and flopped down on it, smirk unwavering. “Because we have high tolerance” she answered, reaching for the remote control.

Magnus rolled his eyes, only half-annoyed, and clicked his phone on.

“Why do you keep opening that device of yours?” Ragnor asked, lifting his head from where he was marking his students’ papers.

“It’s called a  _phone,_  Cabbage” Magnus answered, clicking it back off. “Work”

“Work” Raphael parroted, snorting. “You forget we’re colleagues, Magnus.”

Catarina plopped down on the couch, lifting her legs to stretch them across it. “Stop teasing him, boys”, Magnus was halfway through thanking her before she went on, “I’m sure he means the  _other_  job. Y’know, the one that comes in the form of a certain man with pretty hazel eyes.”

“ _Why_  am I friends with you?” Magnus reiterated, standing up to fix himself a snack. On his way to the kitchen, he heard Catarina’s small  _high tolerance_  than earned her a glare over his shoulder.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

The last thing Alec expected when he left his room, still in a tired stupor, was Magnus sitting next to Jace in the sitting room. “Oh” was the only thing that fell from his lips as Magnus stood to his feet.

“Sorry for the unplanned visit at this hour,” Magnus paused to take in Alec’s bedhead and tired eyes before lowering his gaze to his shirtless state. The movement had Alec’s cheeks flushing red and Jace smirking smugly with his arms folded over his chest. “Ahem” the blond punctuated, “you were in the middle of an apology, Magnus.”

Magnus cleared his throat and nodded. “Right” he said. “We should talk.”

Alec nodded, waving a hand over his shoulder. “I’m just gonna…” he tailed away, taking a step back, “put something on. I’ll be right back.”

He stumbled back into his room, shutting the door harder than he should’ve and scurried to find his maroon t-shirt. Once he had it on, he slid his feet into his slippers and, deeming himself too short on time to brush his teeth, double-sprayed his mouth with freshener before striding back into the living room. “Where’s Jace?”

Magnus flourished a hand. “Found some ill excuse to give us alone time” he said casually.

Alec nodded. “Do– shall I get you something to drink? Coffee?”

“No, thank you” Magnus shook his head and gestured for the sofa opposite his. “Let’s talk.”

Alec sat down, bringing his hands to rest on his lap as he looked at Magnus, who didn’t seem to be in a hurry, taking his time to position himself properly on the sofa. Alec knew he didn’t mean to keep him on tenterhooks, but it was hard to keep his nerves at bay when Magnus had come at this time of day unannounced.

“Did something happen?” Alec eventually prompted.

“Not exactly,” Magnus looked up, shaking his head lightly. “It just came to my notice that we… that we started this deal but never appointed the time of its termination.”

Alec’s mind short-circuited at that, his hands beginning to rub at each other nervously.

“No, no, none of that” Magnus murmured, leaning over to rest a hand on top of Alec’s before they could turn tender with friction burn. “I’m not pressuring you. I just think we should find some time to figure these things out. When to officiate our breakup and how.”

Alec appeared to be hearing everything Magnus was saying but not listening. Magnus could almost see his words enter one of Alec’s ears only to exit the other. “Alexander?”

“Yeah” Alec croaked, “yeah, you’re right… we... yeah” his words were at odds with the way he slowly turned his hands in Magnus’ until their palms were pressed together. The tips of his long fingers were grazing Magnus’ wrists and beneath them, there was a steady pulse that had Alec looking up from their hands to Magnus’ face.

He didn’t know what exactly he was expecting to find there, but the warm adoration in his brown eyes wasn’t it. Magnus drew one hand away, a move that had Alec almost withdrawing completely, but then he was reaching up and brushing Alec’s hair away from his forehead.

Alec’s eyes fell shut, air leaving his lips in a shaky breath. “Magnus, I–” whatever Alec was going to say withered on his tongue when Magnus’ phone began ringing. Magnus shrunk back, as though he hadn’t recognised what he was doing, and Alec stood up swiftly. “I- uh, you should take that.”

Magnus checked his phone. “it’s work” he said, bringing himself to his feet. “Duty calls. I’ll see you Saturday evening.”

Alec nodded. “See you then.”

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Saturday evening came sooner than either of them anticipated.

Magnus hated Alec’s family. Not the close ones. Isabelle, Jace and especially little Maxwell were likeable. But those distant relatives who measured Alec with the same critical looks they aimed at him, except with a little less disgust? Those were intolerable.

Especially the man standing in front of him right now, _Malachi Dieudonné_ , one of Robert’s colleagues. He was droning on and on about a construction company he had ties with, eyes not swivelling from Alec. Magnus didn’t feel jealous, the man was old enough to be Alec’s father, and there was no rational reason for Magnus to be jealous because Alec was just a  _friend,_  a reluctant friend. Who kissed his cheek. But the way the man had exclaimed ‘Robert’s eldest!’ and came to a stop right in front of Alec without so much of a glance at Magnus made him feel somewhat inferior.

Magnus was drawn out of his thoughts by the man’s “If I’m not mistaken, your father told me you were getting tired of freelance and wanted to work for a company?”

Alec hesitated, lips parted around a  _no_  he’d always been afraid to say. His eyes sought out his father before he looked back at the man in front of him. “I–”  _I’m not interested_  was right there, dawdling at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t let it out, didn’t want to mar himself further in the eyes of his parents.  _Weak._

He sidled a little closer to Magnus, knowing that whatever he says will sound like a litany of gibberish.

“Alexander isn’t interested at the moment” Magnus said calmly, resting a hand on Alec’s lower back.

“Ah,” Malachi turned his eyes on Magnus, “konichiwa there, I didn’t see you.”

Magnus stilled, his smile dropping once he processed the words. His hand dropped from Alec’s back as well, and before Alec could explain that Magnus wasn’t Japanese, Magnus spoke up. “Pardon me?”

“Don’t mind me,” the man waved a hand, “it’s been some time since I last spoke Japanese.”

“Magnus isn’t–”

“What makes you think I’m Japanese?” Magnus interrupted. His voice remained mallow, cheerful in a way that kept his surfacing ire veiled.

“Oh, you know…the…” Malachi cleared his throat, gesturing for Magnus’ appearance.

“My outfit?” Magnus put forward. “I didn’t know ethnicity can be revealed by clothing these days. Unless I’m wearing some sort of Kimono and I don’t know?” Magnus knew he was jeopardising Alec’s image in the man’s eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. People like this needed to be cut down to size. He gave Alec a barely noticeable glance to see how he was reacting. Much to his delight, the Lightwood had his hands behind his back, a small smile curving his lips before he calmly said, ‘Magnus is Indonesian, sir’.

“Indonesian- same difference” the man chuckled, hoping his light-hearted  _joke_  would shift the mood. The stereotypical _all Asians look the same_ was somewhere in there and it wasn't lost on Magnus.

“No. You see, sir, while Japan is an island country east Asia, in the Pacific Ocean, Indonesia is southeast of Asia, between the Indian and Pacific Oceans. I don’t mean to offend but if you think there’s no difference between the two, then your geography teacher must’ve been an utter disaster” Alec sounded at ease, the softness of his voice belying the bitterness of his words.

Magnus continued for him. “And still, the extent of your geographical knowledge doesn’t exactly erase your not so covert racism.”

The man had grown red with fury more than embarrassment by the end of Alec’s scolding, his hand tightening around his flute. He was stricken into silence, his jaw ticking as he looked between the two. Whatever excuse or scolding he was scripting for the blurting was long forgotten once someone from across the room called him over.

When he had vamoosed to his other work partners, Alec drew Magnus away from the crowd and into the seclusion of an empty hallway. Magnus straightened his back, smiling a little apologetically.

“Extra charge?” Alec asked. Then answered Magnus’ quizzical look with a ‘Rule nine.’

Magnus looked startled for a second, then he laughed softly, lifting a hand to run his fingers along his ear cuff.

Alec smiled, toothy and wide, at Magnus’ laugh, then ducked his head. “Are you okay though?”

Magnus’ laugh dissolved and he looked up, eyes crinkling with a genuine smile. “I’m fine” he assured, “I didn’t expect anything less from a rich, old white man in a tux. But I..” he trailed off, stepping a little closer to Alec. “I didn’t think you’d stand up for me.”

Alec’s smile was shy and lopsided.

“With a good dash of salt, too” Magnus went on, brows rising. Alec huffed a laugh, looking at the wall above Magnus’ head. He was obviously preening himself beneath the effect of Magnus’ words.

And his breath rushed out of him brokenly when he felt Magnus’ smirk brushing his cheek gently, a whisper of a kiss that sent Alec’s heart racing.

“I’d tell you I want to go home, but the food looked delectable” Magnus stepped back and jerked his head to the side, “c’mon.”

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Alec wished the universe could give him and Magnus a break. For once. To let them just enjoy their, as Magnus simply put it, delectable food.

“Maryse tells me you two are engaged to be wed?” A kind man said. His voice held no judgement whatsoever and that made Alec, albeit annoyed by the amount of times he had to summarise his relationship with Magnus, grateful. “Was it a corporate marriage or…?”

Magnus hummed around his mouthful of fish and rice, waving at Alec when he began to speak, wanting to be the one to answer. Alec chuckled.

“Out of love” Magnus said, gulping down his spoonful. “We grew up together.”

“And how did you know Alec’s the right man for you?” The woman sitting beside the man seemed a little more critical.

“I figured he’s the right  _person_  for me the first day I woke up to the smell of bacon. He’s a romantic. Breakfast in bed and all that” Magnus turned to blow Alec a fond kiss.

“ _Person?_ ”

“I swing both ways” Magnus stated casually.

“Oh” the woman visibly deflated. “Isn’t that… a little gluttonous?”

Magnus blinked, surprised by her gall. “Gluttonous?”

“Yes” Robert said tightly, clearly agreeing.

Alec snorted into his cup of wine and put it down, turning his eyes on his father. “I don’t think you need to be bisexual to be  _greedy._  Isn’t that right, dad?”

The silence following the question was replete with discomfort and question.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Zara asked, leaning forward with her chin propped on the palm of her hand. She was enjoying the drama and Alec knew it.

“Nothing” Alec shrugged, “just that infidelity in heterosexual relationships is much more common than it is in homosexual relationships. Gluttony is… exclusive of sexuality” he gave his father a brief glance before looking back at his food. “Thank you, mom. The food is lovely.”

Everyone realised they hadn’t praised Maryse for her culinary skills and fell into conversation about their favourite dishes.

“My office. Now” Robert gritted out.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

Izzy hugged Alec tightly, with a promise of conversation, before he left.

Once Magnus and Alec were settled in the car, Magnus turned to him, lifting a hand to pinch his chin gently and tilt his face to the side. Alec’s eyes fell shut and Magnus’ lip’s pursed tightly at the red mark he found there before lowering his hand to his lap.

Alec started the car silently.

** ⋆⋆⋆ **

“It was worth it”. Alec didn’t need to hear Magnus say the words to know he knew.

“Was it?” Magnus asked, looking ahead. “Even if that means your bevy of a family dishing the dirt on you?”

Alec took a deep breath and turned to look at Magnus. “It’ll keep them occupied for the next couple of days until someone else does something and becomes a victim of their tongues.”

“Was that—” Magnus swallowed, “that was the first time he raises a hand to you, right?”

“Yeah” Alec exhaled, watery. He lifted his hand to his cheek. “Yeah, it was.”

Magnus didn’t know what to say, eyes staring ahead. He sucked his lip into his mouth, nibbling on it.

“You don’t have to say anything” Alec let out, thumbs twiddling. “Good night, Magnus.”

It took everything in Magnus not to look back. He stepped into his home and shut the door behind himself, leaning back against it with a heavy sigh.

He needed to stop this, whatever  _this_  was, before it got too far. At this point, what he felt towards Alec was something he couldn’t deny, maybe to his friends, but not to himself.

His eyes opened once he realised Alec’s car hadn’t left his driveway.

The beating of his heart stood in for each second that passed as he awaited the headlights, the sound of the engine, anything that told him Alec wasn’t still outside his house, alone with his thoughts.

The lights came. And it didn’t take Magnus long to realise they weren’t the headlights but the light of his own porch, reacting to Alec’s steps as he drew closer to the house.

The bell rang. Magnus pushed himself off the door and turned to pull it open, head high and a smile serving as a veil to hide the conflict taking place inside him.

Alec strode incredibly close, voice hoarse as he spoke, “I know I- I’m in no place— it’s selfish of me to—” his eyes were bloodshot, his hand curled into a loose fist by his side, moving relentlessly.

And only when Magnus drew him in by the neck and pressed their mouths together did it stop, lifting to frame Magnus’ jaw in a hold too gentle for all the cruelty they’d faced today. His fingers were calloused, Magnus noted, but so gentle he felt his eyes flutter shut.

His lips were dry, like he’d cried out all the water his body had. But it didn’t stop Magnus from taking his bottom one between his teeth, tugging lightly as Alec’s other hand roved up and down his chest in bold hunger.

Then Magnus was pulling him inside, Alec’s foot kicking the door shut before he was pressed against it.

Magnus, Alec realised, kissed like he  _owned._ Tongue and teeth and so much desire it made Alec ache with want. He moved his hands to the buttons of Magnus’ shirt, scrambling to undo them as Magnus pulled his jacket off his shoulders, murmuring a half-muffled “these fucking suspenders” against his mouth before pulling back.

Alec’s lips chased after his for a second before he came to an abrupt stop, eyes flickering between Magnus’. The vulnerability he found there echoed the one he felt inside. And somehow, he knew he was safe. Knew Magnus would never hurt him, never use his weakness against him.

Magnus leant up, closing the distance between them again. His hands brushed the suspenders off Alec’s shoulders, lips trailing down to his jaw, relishing the heavy panting and barely inhibited moans escaping Alec’s parted lips.

“Magnus” Alec exhaled. “Magnus, stop.”

Magnus did without a second of hesitation, lifting his head to look at the Lightwood.

“Did- Are you doing this out of pity?” Alec whispered. “Or- or as a thank you for—”

Magnus pressed his finger to Alec’s lips, hushing him. “Alec” the name sounded foreign on his tongue and going by the way Alec shied away once it was uttered, it was alien to his ears as well. “Alexander. I’m hard.”

The flush on Alec’s cheeks deepened, extending to his neck and the tips of his ears.

“And as much as I want to take you to bed right now,” Magnus tried not to get distracted by the small undulates of Alec’s hips. “I need to know if you’re doing this as a way to unwind. A coping mechanism of some sort.”

“’M not” Alec’s lips covered his once again. “Wanted this for so long.”

Magnus pressed a hand against his chest, pushing him back. “How long?”

Alec stilled, hands sliding down Magnus’ forearms and falling limp at his sides.

He looked away.

“How long?” Magnus asked. When no answer came, he went on, “a week? A month?”

Another heavy silence.

“Christ, Alexander. When we reconvened?” Magnus was  _smug_  about it, a rare, toothy smile beautifying his face.

Alec refused to answer, knew the exactitude of the time would probably freak Magnus out. He reached for him, pulled him into his arms, and kissed him like his life depended on it.


	11. XI

Alec’s had sex before. Twice. First time was in university. They were both drunk out of their gourd. Alec wouldn’t have known it happened if he hadn’t woken up the next day with the worst hangover, stark naked in a bed that definitely wasn’t his, beside a guy equally as naked. Alec never bothered ruminating on it, deeming it too icky and quick for a first time. The second time was to wind down. It’d been with Jace’s bodybuilder. It was enthusiastic and based on pure lust. At least it was sober, Alec always told himself.

But with Magnus. With Magnus he felt like every cell in his body was on fire. It wasn’t slow, wasn’t what movies portrayed first times as. It was passionate, primal, too much but not quite enough. Alec’s hands mapped each inch of Magnus’ skin, then his lips followed the paths his deft fingers had made. He drank in each breathless call of his name, whispered his own against the soft skin of Magnus’ thighs.

And once joined, their eyes fell shut, breaths quickening with each meeting of their hips. Their interlaced fingers tightened further with each thrust. Their lips met again, slick and covetous.

Somewhere in between, they paused. Alec sought Magnus’ eyes in the darkness of the bedroom. He lifted a hand, outlined his features with shaky fingers. He sensed words of concern on Magnus’ lips and locked them away with his mouth, their sweat-slick bodies beginning a new rhythm.

Alec’s eyes fell shut until the pleasure building up in his gut blurred out everything else, till his need to fuck shone brighter than his want to be touched like he meant something. Magnus’ mouth fell open in a silent scream and Alec mouthed at his jaw, drawing it out as much as he could before he himself was driven to release.

They drew apart and lay side by side. Alec’s chest rose and fell in an attempt to fetch air for his lungs. For a small while, he said nothing. He just listened to Magnus for any sign of regret, and eventually, when Magnus didn’t say anything other than a breathy ‘fuck’, Alec waved a hand. “You’re really good at that” he exhaled.

Magnus slapped Alec’s hand away, an airy chuckle leaving him. “Gluttonous bisexual” he faked a posh accent of one of Alec’s relatives. It was a good imitation but Alec was too fucked out to place his finger on which relative had fallen victim to Magnus’ ridicule. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Hormonal and haven’t found the right girl yet” Alec quipped, turning his head to look at him.

Magnus laughed, head tipped back as he adjusted his position to comfort. It made a blush crawl up Alec’s neck, eyes taking in all the marks he’d left on his neck.

Once Magnus felt Alec’s gaze, he quietened his chuckles and turned onto his side. “You know,” his words were muffled with a yawn, eyes drooping with exhaustion. “I was banned from Peru.”

A startled laugh left Alec’s lips uninhibited and he instinctively mirrored Magnus’ pose, tucking a hand under his pillow. “I don’t believe you” he said. “But you’re good at lying so you’ll tell me that story one day” he murmured. “Yeah?”

Magnus’ eyes fell shut.

“Yeah?” Alec repeated. Magnus didn’t answer. Not until Alec had reckoned he was sleeping.

“Yeah.”

Alec couldn’t sleep. Knew that once he did, he’d wake up the next morning to the consequences of what they’d just done. He didn’t regret it. Couldn’t. Not with Magnus sleeping so peacefully next to him. Not when he feels so whole, so complete, so loved.

He lifted a hand, stroked a sweat-strewn strand of hair away from Magnus’ forehead. He thumbed away an eyelash on his cheekbone, smiled when Magnus murmured in his sleep. He watched him for what felt like hours, fell in love once, then twice, then thrice; until he lost count.

The Chairman came scratching at the door a little past midnight and Alec took that as his cue to leave. He climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Magnus. In the dim glow shining through the window, he managed to find his clothes, pulled them on quietly before stepping into his shoes.

He paused at the door, looked back at Magnus as if it were the last time, then left, keeping the bedroom door open for the Chairman.

**⋆⋆⋆**

**Jace:  hey u OK? u didnt look urself when u left.**

**Jace:** **pls msg me bk asap. im worried.**

**Jace:** **did dad say smn to hurt u? r u crashing @ magnus’?**

**Izzy:** **Hey, big bro. You’re probably at Magnus’ but please at least let us know you’re safe. Love you.**

**Max:  dude, I know Magnus is pretty damn cute but just look away from him and at your goddamn phone for one sec. worried overprotective family here!**

Alec didn’t want to go through the ordeal of messaging each one of them individually, so he opened their family group chat and sent out a terse  _im okay. needed time to clear my head. home now._

He put his phone on charge, threw it carelessly to the carpeted floor and lay down, where he stared at a scraped spot on the wall until his eyes drifted shut.

**⋆⋆⋆**

“Jace.”

“Alec.”

Alec looked up from the book he had on his lap, swinging his pencil between his middle and index fingers. “Can you stop singing  _someone got laid_  under your breath? I’m studying here.”

Jace tried to keep a straight face, but his lips quivered a second later and he burst into a laugh. Alec rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he looked back at his book. “You got home at twelve forty five am, shirt half unbuttoned,  _suspenders nowhere in sight,_  looking fucked out and  _glowing_. Forgive a sex expert for  _anal_ ysing.”

Alec stared up at him in disbelief. “Wrong phonetics and you’re  _disgusting_.”

“I’m not disgusting. I’m hurt that you went clubbing without me. And here I was, saving you the last two slices of pizza” Jace sniffled dramatically to emphasise his point, bringing the greasy pizza to his lips.

“I don’t think Fairchild would be happy knowing you’re out there sleeping around,” Alec inputted, smiling to himself. He looked at his ring, the gleaming sapphire winking back at him with every movement of his hand.

“So you  _did_  get laid?”

Alec licked over his dry lips, dampening them as he gave Jace a casual shrug.

“You dog!” Jace seemed abundantly proud of his brother, lifting a hand for a bro fist.

Alec smacked it away, tutting his tongue in disapproval.

**⋆⋆⋆**

Magnus wasn’t pining. He wasn’t disappointed and he absolutely wasn’t expecting more from a Lightwood.  _Alec,_  no less.

Okay, those were lies.

“What’s up with you? You’re never awake before two pm on Sundays” Catarina said casually, sipping at her coffee. “Let alone out of the house.”

Catarina was a strong and worthy woman. She had her whole life sorted out. Had a child of her own, a job, a family that cared for her. And now she was sitting opposite  _him_ , the utter epitome of a mess, talking so casually that Magnus couldn’t help but feel like life was just rubbing it in, how plain and sad he was in comparison.

“I had sex with Alec.”

Catarina choked on her sip, spat it back into the cup and patted around for a handkerchief to dab at her shirt, then mouth. “Magnus!” She exclaimed, “warn a woman!”

Magnus felt pathetic that something as small as getting her shirt stained with coffee made him feel a little better about his own misfortunes.

“You  _what?_ ”

“I slept with Alec” Magnus repeated, shrugging a shoulder that looked all but careless. “He drove me home, we talked a bit, then we… fucked.”

“Oh, no, no, no” Catarina shook her head. “I know what you’re doing”. At Magnus’ quizzical brow-lift, she went on. “You’re masking what you’re feeling with cool, hipster words like  _fucked_  and  _yolo_.”

Magnus huffed, shaking his head with mild annoyance, mostly because she was right. A little bit because she worded it as if he was a moping teenager. “I would rather be smothered to death by my own cat than say the word  _yolo_ ” he stated, irrelevant.

Catarina rolled her eyes, her toothy, lopsided grin belying her irritation. “If you two  _fucked_  as you so… romantically put it, why the long face? You don’t regret it, do you?”

Magnus looked down at his untouched drink, tracing its lip with his finger. “I don’t.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Magnus swallowed, recalling the feeling of waking up to a cold, empty bed. “He left before we could sort things out.”

Catarina gasped. “He did the post-coitus catwalk?!”

“Don’t call it that” Magnus snorted. “But yes.”

“That bastard!”

A few people from nearby tables turned to look at them. Catarina lifted her hands in defence. “Don’t look at me. I’m not the one who did the walk of shame here” she said.

Magnus couldn’t help but laugh, looking skywards as he slumped back in his seat.

Catarina leant over, gripped his chin and tilted his head in different angles. “Is the Lightwood of mosquito heritage and you’ve forgotten to tell us?” She asked, making a face at the marks littering Magnus’ neck. She let go and sat back. “Did he just..leave? No note or text?”

“He filled the Chairman’s water and food bowls” Magnus answered evasively, waving a careless hand. “And he forgot his suspenders.”

Catarina’s sigh was sad as she leant forward. “You should talk to him. Be honest with him.”

“And tell him what?” Magnus snapped.

Catarina’s eyes considerably softened as she reached for his hands. He looked away, jaw ticking with many more unspoken words.

“You know what will cheer you up?”

“What?” Magnus asked dimly.

“The gym, then a movie with Madzie and the two old gits babysitting her”. The words tugged a smile out of him and he haltingly looked over at her. “I heard there’s a winter closeout” Catarina pushed on, singing the words temptingly.

Magnus cracked a smile, prompting one from his friend in return. “We’ll invite Indah, too.”

That was just what he needed, Magnus realised, a day in with his family.

**⋆⋆⋆**

The door creaked open and Alec jumped up, his inner child surfacing as he scurried to hide his phone away and pull his books closer. He stopped the second his eyes landed on his mother. “Mom— hi.”

Maryse didn’t come in, hands holding the edge of the door as she peered inside. “Jace let me in. Are you busy?” She asked.

Shaking his head, Alec moved his books aside in a silent invitation for her to sit, and with a great amount of hesitation, she stepped inside, shutting the door behind her.

“I know we left on bad terms last time—” Alec cut her off with a snort, shaking his head.

“We’ve been on bad terms for years” he said, waving a hand for her to sit. “If you’re here to reconcile—”

“I am” Maryse interrupted in a rush. Alec turned his eyes on her, confused. “Alec— I know I haven’t been the most understanding mother.”

Alec wanted to scoff, to laugh it out because  _that_  was the understatement of the year. And  _understanding_  wasn’t what she hasn’t been.  _Mother,_  on the other hand,  _was._

“But things have taken a.. drastic turn these past few months,” she paused to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. It was the first time Alec’s seen her hair down in quite some time. She looked younger, less strict. “You got engaged. Robert…” she trailed off with no intention of finishing the sentence. “I’m getting a divorce, Alec.”

Alec schooled his face into blankness. “I don’t know why you’re telling  _me_  that. Last I checked, I wasn’t part of the family. Neither was Jace for that matter.”

“Alec—”

“I don’t want to hear any excuses, you were jabbing at his insecurities,”  _and mine_ , “it probably slips your mind that Jace was abandoned when he was a kid. He found a family among us and you treat him like—” he stopped to take a breath. “When we went to sign up for a course last week, he hesitated at his last name.”

Maryse’s breath hitched, eyes glossing over with tears. “What?”

Alec rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. “Don’t act surprised.”

“Alec, I’ve always treated Jace like my son—”

“Thing is, mom, he  _is_  your son. Did you even think of telling him about the divorce before coming in here?” At her guilty silence, he went on, “Jace loves you. He loves us. And yeah, he has that whole swagger thing going on” he waved a hand in circles at  _swagger_ , “but you have no idea how much you’re hurting him with your partiality. You really think that out-and-out love of his will last with the way he’s being treated?”

By the time he was done, a tear had stilled on the apple of her cheek, head hung in shame of her own actions. “Alec, the only reason I didn’t tell him about the affair was because I knew he’d tell you, and you…” Alec didn’t want to hear the rest of it, fully aware it’ll be another dash of salt to his wounds. “You care too much to stay silent.”

Alec stopped fidgeting, looked at his mother in barely hidden shock and a weakness he could hide from anyone but her.

He didn’t have the chance to question her, or to respond, as two knocks came at the door.

Alec cleared his throat, turning to it just as Jace budged it open and looked inside. “Everything okay? I heard some..” he pointed a thumb over his shoulder. “Arguing.”

Maryse wiped underneath her eyes and nodded. “Come in, I have something I need to tell you and your brother.”


End file.
